Judge, 1900-09-08 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 8, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces mocking political figures and social hypocrisy circa early 1900s: **"A City Idyl"** satirizes urban tourists who romanticize farm life while city farmers exploit them for rent. **"The Best He Could Do"** mocks someone unable to read Hebrew, suggesting reliance on non-intellectual alternatives. **"Hasty Conversion"** depicts two Chinese officials discussing how foreigners suddenly embraced the "open door" policy—satirizing opportunistic shifts in foreign policy regarding China. **"Judge's Fourth Installment"** profiles Jacob Stuffinhoeffer, a German-American sausage manufacturer who switched from Republican to Bryan/anti-monopoly after being denied a White House advertising privilege. This lampoons political conversions motivated by personal grievance rather than principle. **"Not 'Right' in the Head"** shows a man defending polygamy as trial-and-error spouse selection. The overall theme: exposing political inconsistency, opportunism, and the gap between public principles and private self-interest.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A CITY IDYL. IN SUMMER-TIME the farmer wise Comes to the city cool And rents his swelt'ring country farm To the foolish city fool. On Twenty-third street in the day He views the squash in bloom ; He listens to the steam-plant grow In the hotel engine-room. The chippy-bird hops up Broadway In the twilight soft and sweet ; The Bow'ry farmer gets to work ‘And plucks the willing beet. The kissing-bug flits to and fro “Twixt the benches in the park, When lo! sweet music greets the ear— “Tis the song of a midnight lark, So come, you rustic farmer man— y Yea, come without your hoe. 2 You need it not to reap the fruits NOT A FAVORABLE IMPRESSION. ‘That in our city grow. Mrs. Bouncer—"'I believe, John, you have been sitting on that settee I just painted.” soseet avoo warnna, Mx. Bouncer—"* Yes, dear; that’s just my impression.” x “JUDGE'S” FOURTH INSTALLMENT OF DIS- ‘ THE BEST HE COULD bo. J TINGUISHED CITIZENS WHO ++ READ that to me, will you?" said Mrs. Sterlingworth to her husband as she handed him = WILL CHANGE THEIR VOTES THIS FALL. a fragment of a Hebrew newspaper. “Tcan't read it,” replied Mr, Sterlingworth; “but if you'll wait until I get my flute I'll play it for you.” HASTY CONVERSION, First Chinese official— No, we don't hear so much about spheres of influence lately.” Second Chinese official—" True; but foreigners in our territory seemed to take to the open door very suddenly and eagerly.” Sr. Lovts, Missount.— Jacob Stuffinhoeffer, a big sausage-manufacturer, leading German citizen and ardent Republican four years ago, is out for Bryan and “death to special privilege." Mr. Stuffinhoeffer announced his change yesterday immediately after his return from Washington, where he went to ask the president the privilege of placing a sign on the white-house, advertising the Stuffinhoeffer sausages, NOT “RIGHT” IN THE HEAD. Wasuanora! A : com years connected with the internal-revenue department, sayS t was your idea in marrying seventeen wives?’ he will not vote his approval of the McKinley administra- I was only trying to get a good one.” fi 3 -—George W. Blank, for many 4 et a § tion, Mr. Blank was kicked out of the revenue office six fine defense! Any intelligent jury will acquit you at once on il months ago for stealing stamps. He says there uprising this year against “criminal aggression.’ comicbooks.com