Judge — September 1, 1900 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RECESSIONAL. When with a fierce volcanic shock ‘The Democrat fumes, roars and blows, ‘nd when the Democratic cock ‘A little prematurely crows, 1 oll dinner-pail, be with us yet, L.st we forget, lest we forget. ‘Though Bryan with his dying breath Exclaims, till Hill and Gorman run, + Give me ignominious death, Or give me silver, sixteen-one !" ner-pail, be with us yet, st we forget, lest we forget. Remind us through the summer's heat, ‘And when the fall elections come. y well becomes his seat, Democracy is on the bum. Full dinner-pail, be with us yet Lest we forget, lest we forget. —W. A. Dyer in Springfield Union, as thot you'd Itke to“ shute off this mor- unhappiness aod toll— ‘will make you love 1d laugh at pain and DRESSED BACKWARD. They are telling a pathetic little story of a dainty Japanese lady of distinction who yearned. for a wardrobe in the last Paris fashion, At ber request the French consul at Nagasaki pro cared for her a complete outfit of ** creations,” including the over-wear and the underneath acd the round-about. When the goods arrived the little lady retired to her boudoir to wrestle with the mysteries, She had seen pictures of European ladies in Worth frocks, and she had seen pictures designed to show the fit of other feminine fripperies with lace on them, and her ideas seem to have got a little mixed. Having noone to guide her, the lady appears to have started at the top of the box and worked her way steadily down to the underwear, taking things as they came, so to speak. The result vas that at the finish of her toilet the lady was dressed backward, as it were, and the most prominent part of her attire was precisely the fart that has no name in polite society. seems to have drifted into a bloomer enthu- shst unawares, and when she went in person to thank the consul for his kind assistance the good man nearly succumbed to the shock. — Pick MUP. FRAGRANT. The rose and lily, side by side, Were in a bouquet pent. “ Ah!" the rose exclaimed, "* you're fair to id, ** OF course—tee-hee ! ‘ou cannot borrow aught from me, For I haven't got a scent. —Pick-Me-Up. “Money,” said the political orator, ‘is a grat lever and"—— “That's right, mister,” interrupted a man in the gallery. ‘It's such 4 great leaver that most of us can't keep it.”— Chicago News, logue.” Agents make peau, Lamy Fi She | AT THE THEATRE. JuvcE proposes to devote careful attention (and perhaps a column of space each week) to the condensed appreciation of plays and play- ers during the theatrical season which is now opening auspiciously, despite the traditional hoodoo of presidential-election year. This past summer New York has been a one- show town, “The Cadet Girl having domi- nated the Rialto, with no rival save the contin. uous vaudevillains and the roof - gardeners. | "Twas but the lull before the barn-storm, En- terprising people in all branches of the profes- sion, from manager down to dramatist, have utilized the dog-days (also some of the dog- towns) in preparing the opening attractions for the metropolitan theatres, practically all of which will have opened their doors and un- chained their “‘ press-agents” by the middle of September. From the modest and diffident announce- ments vouchsafed by the managers it is possi-; * ble to forecast the immediate future, and the _ (Continued on page 3.) $250 Reward for information leading to the conviction of any dealer having refilled empty bottles of ED, PINAUD'S world-renowned Eau de Quinine Hair Tonic, or adulterating and tampering In any sbape oF form with the original coutents of the same, ‘This offer ts bons fide, and 1s made In order to protect the consumer of ED, PINAUD'S Tollet Preparations. An immense fraud has been of late practiced, espe- cfally by a large nuniber of unscrupulous barbers, who have made ft a practice to use on thelr customers spurt- ‘ous and often Injurious preparations, palmiog the sane D. PINAUD'S EAU DE QUININE. ‘The Partumerle ED. PI tect thet rights, and we cute to the utm either imitate thetr packages or refill thetr bottles. Avy communication relative to the detection of such frauds will be treated fn strict cunfdence. PUTNEY, TWOMBLY & PUTNEY, Attorneys, 115 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. A better Conktstt at home than is served over any bar in the World, HE CLUB= T rcs MANEATTAN, MARTINI, ‘WHISKEY, HOLLAND GIN, TOM GIN, VERMOUTH ard YORE. ‘Wo guarantee these Cocktails to be made of absolutely pare and well matared liquors. and the riizing equal to the best cocktails verved over any bar in the world. Being compounded in accurate proportions, they will always be found of uniform quailty. Connoissears agree that of two cocktails made of the same material and propor tions the one which is aged must be the better. ‘Try our YORK Cocktail made withoat any sweetening—dry and delicious. For Sale on the Dining and Buffet Cars of the principal railroads of the U. 8. AVOID IMITATIONS. For Sale by all Druggists and Dealers. G. F, HEUBLEIN & BRO,, Sole Props., 29 29 Broadwan N. Y., Hartford, Conn. 20 Piccadilly, W. London, Eng. | The following sign was hung up in a black-|' The good die young.” smith’s shop run by two colored men in the south : ‘*. The copar'nership heretofore resisting betwixt me and Mose Skinner am hereby re- solved, Parties owing the firm anything will ay me and those whom the firm owe will see jose. tura Bitters in the spring don't suffer from chills and fever and malaria in July and August. | Beware of poisonous domestic substitutes. Yabsley—"" Did I understand you to say your uncle's attack of rheumatism was cured by Christian science?” Afudge—"* No; I said his attack of Christian science was cured by theumatism."—/ndianapolis Press, The younger one—'* I think all a man should know about his wife’s dress is the cost.” The elder matron—*You goose! he should not know even that."—/ndtanapolis Journal, le who take DR. SIEGERT'S Angos- | But do not, there- fore, stray From the sweet wholesomeness of virtue's way. | Ie tends not to long life to raise the dickens— “The good die young” is chiefly true of chickens, —Chicago Recor Saxby—'' How true it is, as Shakespeare says, * The good men do is oft interred with | their bones." Mfrs. Saxby—"* Yes; I sup- | pose, as a general thing, there is so little of it ha it isn't worth saving."—Chicage News. “To Have and To Hold "is the great Amer- ican play of the season, with William McKinley | 8 leading-man.— Utica Herald. Dispatch. “Tse that Kansas has sand new pianos this year. taking ones. rehased two thou- While dad is up old notes sis is hammering out new "—Cleveland Plain Dealer. SHAVING SOAPS. Wiitieme, Shaving Stick, 23 cts, jenuine Yankee Shaving Soap, 10 Willams’ Shaving Soap, (Barber' for toilet. Depots. London, WILLIAMS. Shaving Of course it is WILLIAMS’ SHAVING SOAP—no other could produce such a mass of thick, creamy lather—no other soap so thoroughly softens the beard and makes shaving such a soothing, refreshing part of the morning toilet. Search the world over and you won't find the equal of WILLIAMS’ Williams’ Saving Soaps are sold everywhere, bot sant by mail If your desler dove not supply you. Luxury Shaving Tablet, 28 cts. ‘Williams’ Glycerated Tar Soap, 15 cts. round cakes, 11b., 40 cents. Exquisite also ‘THE J. B. WILLIAMS COMPANY, Glastonbury, Conr, Paris, Dresden, ‘Sydney. He who has made no mistakes has had no experience. It used to be a common error to defer taking life insurance. It isn’t now. ‘Pawn Murat Lire, 921-8-5 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. EARL & WILSON'S “ coLLARs CUFFS& SHIRTS BEST IN THE WORLD. THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. SOHMER PIANOS | Sohmer Building, 9% Redrecir New Sth Ave., cor, 22d St, Rae Ne ‘A 24-Hour Train to Chicago Every Day —NEW YORK CENTRAL. comicbooks.com