Judge, 1900-08-11 · page 6 of 20
Judge — August 11, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of the magazine's satirical format: **"The Desideratum"** mocks Wall Street success, suggesting that winning in business requires knowing "how to pluck and whom"—a crude pun implying dishonest manipulation. **"Checkmated"** jokes about a boy caught between two Sunday schools' strawberry festivals on the same day—a mild domestic comedy. **"An Old Model"** features two elderly men comparing eyesight, with one claiming to use his second eye when the first tires—absurdist humor. **"The Resemblance"** references "the yellow kid," a famous cartoon character of the era, suggesting a newborn resembles this well-known figure. **"Why Mr. Country Boarder Is Home Again"** depicts a city visitor so energized by fresh country vegetables that he attempts jumping a fence, with the punchline censored by police—implying his language was profane. The page also includes portrait sketches and advertisements for "Ful" brand products. Overall, it reflects early 1900s middle-class American humor: domestic situations, wordplay, and gentle social observation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| aa THE DESIDERATUM. WHEN you win in Wall street It is not always luck ; To win success In business ‘The thing you need is pluck. It gives your speculation boom To know just how to pluck and whom. CHECKMATED. Cobwigger—" What is it that is troubling Freddie so much ?* Mrs. Colwigger —" He joined two Sunday - schools and they are both going to have their strawberry festival ‘on the same day.” AN OLD MODEL, Mr Ostox —"'T think it is remarkable for a man of your “Mamma,” exclaimed Beth age to go without glasses. My eyes water so I have to wear them all the time.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. after the service, “1 wish Mr. Potato —*t Well, my young friend, I have more PHYLLIS RANKIN, they'd sent usa higher-geared eyes to depend on than you.’ When one eye gets tired I use “That face and figure, Phyllis, you know they are a dream — speaker.” another. A simple true description, of you, might sound eatreme ; Orit we would comare you, for witchery and grace, ‘To other stellar wonders, we'd have to search through space And even when we'd found them, those stars to match with “Twould fatier them immensely, thus to be brought in vie! AN UNGAINLY GAIN. HER waist ’sto0 stender, and his arm — It almost drags the ground ; But my! When he embraces her It reaches twice around. IN TIME OF DROUGHT. Little Paul (saying his even ing prayers) — “ Dear Lord, please send rain. The water is only two inches deep in the reservoir, and the man next door is wasting it awfully.” TO HELP HIM OUT. #4. DEAR © sighed Ron- ald as he puzzled over his multplication-table, “ how 1 wish I had an Australian rabbit.” And to the look of inquiry on his, teacher's face he added quickly. THE RESEMBLANCE. ec Mrs, Newiywep (prondiy}—"* Do you think baby looks like some famous personage whom you have ren but cannot ‘ause my geography says they place?" multiply with great rapidity.” Jack Bacneror—"* Er—yes—by Jove! now I have it—it was the ‘ yellow kid.’ How forgetful Iam !" WHY MR. COUNTRY BOARDER IS HOME AGAIN SO SOON. Mx. Country Boarer—" I'll tell you, this change from the canned truck of the city to the fresh, green, country vegetables has made me feel like a boy (The police department won't permit us to print what Mr. Country Boarder said.) again, I'll bet I could jump that fence.” comicbooks.com