Judge, 1900-08-04 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 4, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six separate humorous vignettes satirizing American life, likely from the 1890s-1900s (references to the "panic years of 'ninety-three an' ninety-four'" suggest post-1894). **Key satirical points:** 1. **"The Next Thing"** mocks excessive insurance speculation—the joke that insurers need insurance against losses. 2. **"Imaginary Longevity"** jokes that married men *feel* they live longer due to boredom, not actual longevity. 3. **"Like Paradise to Them"** uses Brooklyn/Jersey migration as a punchline about quality of life. 4. **"Out of the Question"** satirizes vagrants' inability to maintain regular habits. 5. **"Barometer of Trade"** shows economic recovery through a grocer's observations about customer behavior post-panic. 6. **"Was There a Soul Dismayed?"** features a minstrel-show scene (indicated by dialect) mocking Black characters' false bravery before a ghost-hunting task. The page reflects Gilded Age American humor: financial anxiety, class mobility, and period-typical racial caricature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE NEXT THING. (THE fire-insurance companies have had some large losses in the last twelve months,” said Hojack. Whaat is.needed,” added Tom- dik, “is a company to insure insur- ance companies against loss." IMAGINARY LONGEVITY. THAT if married you'll live longer ‘Than if single may be true; The belief grows strong and stronger It will longer seem to you. LIKE PARADISE TO THEM. Cora— How in the world do people manage to live in Brooklyn ?” Merritt" You must remem- Mr. Rosmw Box—"" My frlend, you don’t look well” ber that many of them moved there ‘Ma. Viotin—* No; I'm’ completely unstrung.” from Jersey.” CHEERING HIM UP. Mr. NewLywep —"'I saw your old lover on the street to-day, looking awfully blue.” LYWED—"'I hope you tried to cheer Mr. Newiywep—"Oh, yes. I showed him my buttonless shirt and that new tie you bought me.” BAROMETER OF TRADE. SOM, YES." remarked the grocer at Basswood comers, “business right in this here neck 0’ the woods is a blamed sight better ‘n it was.” “Notice it every day, can’t you?” replied the coffee-drummer, SGT OF THE OUESTION. “Can every night. ‘There hain't a quarter as Fravep Facin (reading)—" It says here dat a feller should eat his meals regular.” many shavings: and sehittlings eft Bi the, Rear” at Weary Witir— How kin he do dat? A feller may strike three houses in a bunch, an’ den not Closin’-up time as there was durin’ the panic years strike anudder house fer half a mile.” of ‘ninety-three an’ ninety-four.” WAS THERE A SOUL DISMAYED? Tue cartain—'* Is yo’ all brave men?” Cnorus—" We is!” THe cartatn—* Yo! ain't none ob yo" skeered at nuffin'?” CnoRvs— No, indeedy !" THE carrain—' I's gwine ter pick out one ob dis band fo’ ter take his trusty dawg an’ go ter Deacon Smiff’s watahmillyun-patch an’ tackle dat fool ghos’ whad bin prowlia’ roun’ dar de las’ few nights, so I's glad yo's all so brave.” comicbooks.com