Judge, 1900-07-28 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 28, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces mocking contemporary society: **"Its Meaning"**: Two small-town newspaper editors discuss an overly dramatic storm report. The satire targets flowery journalistic excess—a correspondent uses grandiose language ("dread demon of destruction," "lurid lightning's lambent lash") to describe what was merely strong wind that knocked over a few fences and a rickety barn. The joke: purple prose doesn't equal substance. **"An Improvement"**: An artist painting a nobleman's portrait is asked to add a sword and brand it with "Gottin Cutlery Company." This mocks commercialism and vanity—even ancestral portraits are now advertising vehicles. **"Only Temporary"** and **"Exposition Rates"**: Brief domestic comedy sketches. The first shows a wife threatening to leave; the second depicts a farmer refusing extra work for inadequate pay, sardonically suggesting he'll eat at the Paris Exposition instead (implying better conditions elsewhere). The page collectively satirizes provincial journalism, commercial exploitation, and labor disputes—typical turn-of-century Judge targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ITS MEANING. SS XCUSE us a moment, please, while we run through our said the able editor of the Pettyville Plaindealer, addressing his friend and fellow-scribe, the equally able editor of the Allegash Agéfator, who had dropped in for achat on matters journalistic. Well, well! ere is a bulky communication from our special correspondent in your town, Let's sce what important news he has dis- covered which has escaped your—ha, ha!—eagle eye. Um—ah!—why, by George! you had a storm there night before last, didn’t you?" Yes," carelessly replied the visitor; “something of “Something of a breeze? Why, it was a hur- ricane—a regular tornado! This is an account of it—one, two, five, nine pages of the manuscript. Oh, our Allegash correspondent is all right, and don’t you forget it. Listen here—um, um! ‘The dread demon of destruction,’ ‘The howling hurri- AN IMPROVEMENT. Antist—'* This is the portrait you ordered of your first ancestor, the baron Dopedream, Ts it all right?” Mr. Gorrin—"' Not quite. Just make that sword a better brand of cutlery and put on it *Gottin cutlery company, New York city, U.S A.; tel. g1t4-4; cable * Gott."""" FROM OUR COUNTRY CORRESPONDENT. Our readers will be surprised to learn that Dr. cane’s heavy hand '—h'm, h’m!— The lurid lightning’s lambient lash “—by jing! that fellow knows a ey ees wil be surprised to learn that Dr. how to sling a pen, doesn’t he ?—' The raging, resonant roar of the embattled elements tumultuously for years, had a serious falling out last Monday. thundering toward the terrified town.’ Ah, he’s a bird, and no mistake. Something of a breeze, indeed! Now let’s see what he says on page six. ‘The chariot of the storm-king flying through the air, gnashing its fangs as it rolled.’ What do you think of that, hey? Say, now, if all that doesn’t mean a terrible hurricane what does it mean?” “Huh! The wind blew down two or three fences, a shed or two, a few dead trees, and Si Pettit I's old barn, that was so rickety it was all ready to fall of its own accord. All that your special correspondent’ alarming alliteration really means is that he stood facing the breeze with his mouth open and got full of wind.” Tou P, MORGAN. ONLY TEMPORARY. Mrs, Crabshaw —"V'll_ go home to my mother at once.” Crab haw —"1 wish you would, Here’s the money.” . Mrs, Crabshaw—" But this EXPOSITION RATES. “ fast jenoaghs tay dear: fora te: Mrs. FARMen—"'If you'll saw that wood and split it and pile it up and bring in twenty armfuls I'll give you a piece tum ticket.” RY Wine inks, lady ; but when I want ter eat pie at dem rates I'll go ter de Paris exposition,” comicbooks.com