Judge, 1900-07-14 · page 6 of 20
Judge — July 14, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (an early 20th-century satirical weekly) contains multiple unrelated humor pieces typical of the era: **"Old Soak's Celebration"** mocks a drunk man's Fourth of July excess—he nearly caused a fire trying to blow out a gas lamp instead of a candle, creating scandal. **"Parental Deduction"** jokes that a Yale student's prompt letter-writing proves he's lazy; his mother notes he never worked hard at anything. **"Domestically Clad"** presents a child's innocent misunderstanding: seeing a suit of armor, she assumes a man is wearing his wife's tin dishes. Other vignettes satirize: motorcar etiquette (can men drive one-handed?), Irish immigrant speech patterns (Mrs. McGorry's baby ate holes from a porous plaster), and children's mishaps with fireworks. The humor relies on wordplay, social observation, and gentle mockery of domestic life, class pretension, and immigrant communities—typical Judge magazine fare for educated American readers of that period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OLD SOAK’S CELE- BRATION. THE way he enthused on the Fourth, alas ! Occasioned no end of scandal. "Twere better he'd tried to blow out the gas Than to blow otit the Roman me hice ** Sis” will be pleased to answer any question relating to candle. fare of our readers, Write on the edge of the paper only, and limit queries to 500,000 words. Lay your troubles : I at Rer feet. Readers will all be answered in their turn, PARENTAL DEDUC sm. TION. Mrs. Homestead —" Our Miss Sis Hopkins. son at Yale writes that he re- Dear lady—I am in great trouble and hope that you can ceived our letter and immediately K assist me. My husband lately has been spending all his even- takes pains to reply.”" 0 he ings and money at Coney island. Hew can I keep him home? WE Hesetinl _AT et ‘ami cal irri nen don't surprise me any—the fust “aca a sight of anythin’ resemblin’ work allers gave that boy a pain some- whar or other.” DOMESTICALLY CLAD. Dorothy (at the museum, is im 4 U * seeing a figure in a coat-of-mail) roe sors pont ete % 5 e courtier loved the maiden sweet — =~" Goodness, mamma Iithere's “* May I kiss you, dear?” said he. a man dressed up in his wife's tin But the maiden blushed and hung her head, dishes.” “You are too ruff,” said she. KEPT TOO LONG. ETH had never before seen su the laying of sewer-pipes. “Goodness !"" she exclaimed as she drove by the men at work, “why didn’t they bury that pipe before it bloated so ?” SURE ENOUGH. Little Clarence —" Pa, is ay ® there a reason for all things ? Mr. Callipers—"Yes, 1 suppose so.” Little Clarence—"Well, then, pa, why do hens lay eggs?” Mr, Callipers —"* Because they can’t stand them on end, | my son.” iL a \| TTT = PITFALLS FOR THE YOUNG. am Bobbie—" What's Willie | crying about >" FROM OUR COUNTRY CORRESPONDENT. teeta He 90k ak Doctor Peters started on a long trip yesterday. on a package of fireless. fire- sales crackers,’ A QUESTION. THE question that bothers the girls is this : What they want to understand About the horseless car- riage is, Can a man drive with one hand? HIS VORACITY. Mrs. McGorry — “ Phwot d’ yez t'ink the baby ‘s done phwoile yez hov been gone ?” McGorry —* Oi dunno ; phwot ?” Mrs. McGorry — “Shure, he got howld av thot new porous- plasther yez bought last noight, an’ ate ahl the holes out av THE WRONG ONE, i Bosuir—" Lady-bug, lady-bug, fly away home ; your,” etc. But don’t you think that this would keep him home ? ut.” Mr. Buc —"‘Aw, get out ! quit-cher-kiddin'— I'm a man.” comicbooks.com