Judge, 1900-06-30 · page 7 of 17
Judge — June 30, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* (a satirical American weekly) contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of the era: **"For Weal or For Woe"** is a romantic poem about young Lochinvar courting Ellen via tandem bicycle—a commentary on the bicycle craze as a courtship vehicle. **"A Little Child Shall Lead Them"** jokes that a pompous man became humble after his son reached the "question-asking age"—satirizing how inquisitive children expose adult pretension. **"Why It Is So"** is a one-liner gag: a debtor can't hear the doorbell because he's avoiding creditors. **"How He Acquired It"** references Admiral Dewey (Spanish-American War hero), joking that he acquired his independent mind by marrying it—a dig at wives' influence. **"Eligible"** shows children decorating a dog's tail, misunderstanding patriotic parade decorations as funeral honors. The remaining sections are brief jokes about patent medicine, editorial mishaps, and children with a bicycle—typical *Judge* humor mixing topical references with everyday domestic situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FOR WEAL OR FOR WOE. BBD] OUGH young. Lochinva: dide't come from | ae the west, RD GAS] Of all the gay pony-carts his was the best ; ae eae ee “cycle from near or from far PRs | Could match with the tandem of young aa Lochinvar, LAS be S The heart of fair Ellen beat high in its ride At young Lochinvar's invitation to ride. She looked up to blush and she looked down to sigh— ‘That Ellen was clever let no one deny. “* By tandem or pony-cart—how will you go?” “I’m yours,” replied Ellen, “for wheel or for whoa.” And lo! from henceforward, at Lochin- var's side, Now ride away, ride away—Ellen shall ride. Mis, GORGE ARCMIBALD A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM Jonesmith—" What a change has come over Jersey- man! He used to be one of the most pompous, egotistic men I ever knew. He seemed to imagine that there was nothing he did not know; but he’s an entirely different man now.” Billbrown—"Y. ; his little boy has just reached the question-asking age.” 1, “Not a sign of a nibble, and I'll be blamed if I aint ashamed to go home with these four little fish. — WhY IT IS SO. I HAVE no doubt you've noticed, 100, This most peculiar thing— ‘The man up to his ears in debt Can't hear the door-bell ring. HOW HE ACQUIRED IT. Mrs. Hoon—* Admiral Dewey certainly has a mind of his own.” Mr, Hon —“Yes; he mar- ried it.” ELIGIBLE “Wot are yer deceratin’ Jim fer? He didn't die fer his country.” “Naw; but he got his tail runned over by last year's parade.” HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. PROPRIETOR—"* Here's a recommend for our medicine from a life-insur —"* Good! What does he say?” ays fewer of his policy-holders die from taking our medicine than any PATENT-MEDICIN! ance president.” A CHANCE IMPROVEMENT. Se THERE js an antidote for every joke,” wrote the editor in a half-humorous, half-philosophic vein. “There is an antedate for every joke,” translated the compositor and set it that way. The editor looked at the proof. he mused sadly and read on. Tis better so,” 4. —Gosh! won't the old lady shout when she sees these?" comicbooks.com