Judge, 1900-06-23 · page 10 of 25
Judge — June 23, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains five separate humorous vignettes typical of Judge's satirical style: **"Inquisition Methodical"** depicts schoolchildren in dialect, with one suggesting deliberately spreading mumps so classmates can play together—satirizing both childhood logic and period concerns about disease. **"The Difference"** jokes about the Boer War (South African conflict), contrasting military tactics: Boers use "lagers" (fortified camps); the homeless character "Weary Willie" exits bars before being arrested—dark humor about poverty. **"Same Old Play"** mocks South American political instability, with patriots embarrassed that their revolution started late, suggesting chronic disorganization. **"The Wrong Cake"** is a gentle children's story about sibling deception. **"The Substitute"** presents a domestic joke: a husband claims his argumentative wife avoids words by throwing things instead—period humor about marital conflict. The page mixes social commentary, ethnic dialect humor (common but offensive by modern standards), and gentle family comedy. All reflect Judge's mix of political satire and light domestic entertainment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ne. Oh hl, ad INQUISITION METHODICAL. Tommy (whispering)—'* Say, Chimmy, why don't yer show de teacher yer mumps, so she will let yer go home?* Sh I wants ter have de whole school ketch de disease, so as I kin have some uv de fellers ter play wid.” T | | Cunmy (Aoarsely)—"* 'Sh! yer idyut. THE DIFFERENCE, Fravep Fercuson (reading)—'** When de Boer army gits inter close quarters it gits inside a laager.’” - Weary WILLE Dey an’ us differ. inter close quarters. We gits outside a lager an’ den usually gits AND THE SAME OLD PLAY. oe psHaw !" exclaimed the South American patriot; “such slothful carelessness is disgusting. We are fast becoming as slow and backward as some of the nations of the old worl “True, indeed—true,” replied another patriot. were you thinking of ? “What am I thinking of? Why, here it is ten o'clock and our revolution was advertised to begin at nine sharp.” “ But what new circumstance Masta Duck—" Marie, quick! Fetch me out the can-opener.” THE WRONG €AKE. NICE sugar-topped cakes were given to Kenneth and Daisy one evening, but as it was late they were persuaded to put them on a shelf until morning; but Kenneth’s appetite for cake was uncontrollable, and he went and ate one of the dainties. In the morning the two went to the shelf together, and Kenneth seized the remaining cake and was making off with it when his sister objected.“ You ate your cake last night,” said she. “No,” protested Kenneth; “ it was your cake I ate.” THE SUBSTITUTE. Mr. Jones—" Is your wife ever at a loss for a word to express her feelings?” Mr. SurtH—" Oh, yes; especially when arguing with me." Mr. Jones—‘Ah!' And how does she get around it?” Mx. Surri—'* Oh, she simply throws something.” comicbooks.com