Judge — April 14, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wie DELUSIVE. CIGAR and a woman are Quite similar just so far: Few men can intelligence show By the wrapper the tillerto know. HIS OPINION. “ HAT did you think Ww of the commence- ment exercises at the acade- my last night, uncle?” asked the sage’s niece. “Waz-al,” returned the Kohack philosopher sarcas- tically, “I thought, amongst other things, that the valetu- dinarian, or whatever you call him, had wasted a lot of time, which he might other- wise have put to profitable use, in wrestlin’ with Greek and Roman history, prepara- tory to concoctin’ a masterly AN APE FOOL. rhetorical apology for wearin’ a head of hair that mightily resembled a platter of sauerkraut, a collar that looked like a white-washed fence around an idiot-asylum, and a poor, hard-workin’ father to skin and bones tryin’ to pay off the mortgage on the home place and keep that ungrateful young lout in school and good clothes. That's one of the things I thought about it.” HOW THE NEW PARSON AROUSED THE CONGREGATION, HIS INQUIRY. Mrs. Greene —'' Do you ever use soap?” Weary WILLIE—"* Before answerin’ dat question I should like to inquire whether dis is to be a free moral lecture or a soap advertisement.” MIGHT THINK SO. WILLIE had never before seen a man wearing ear-protectors. “ My!" he exclaimed, turning to his mother, “1 should think, cold ‘s this is, the frost would crack open those burrs and let his ears out.” WHAT HE THOUGHT. Sunday-school teacher —* Now, Johnny, you may tell me who was Noah's wife.” Johnny —" Ex—er—Joan of Ark.” OF ANOTHER MAKE. DOROTHY had never before seen a peacock with its exceedingly brilliant tail. “ My!" exclaimed 1 the little girl admiringly, “I guess that bird’s fan ** Brevern an’ sistern, in my discourse dis mornin’ I's gwine to endeavor to prove dat de great must be imported ?" superiority of — — roast ‘possum and sweet potatoes over fried chicken is in de fact" (But the love-feast com 1, ho menced at this point and the revival continued all day and far into the night, and the choir quit shoot 1 tell you to come out of the rain? ing craps and joined in.) MamMa ostrict—*' Ethel, how many times must comicbooks.com