Judge, 1900-04-07 · page 3 of 16
Judge — April 7, 1900 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: 1. **"Better Off Dead"** (top): A domestic scene mocking a couple's conversation, likely satirizing attitudes toward marriage or relationships. 2. **"At the Tock-Tock Club"** (center): A story about someone named Settington whose appendicitis diagnosis proves false. The satire targets medical misdiagnosis and doctors' tendency to prescribe unnecessary surgery—a common early 20th-century complaint about the medical profession. 3. **"A New Relationship"** and **"Oh, What a Difference in the Morning!"** (bottom): These appear to mock domestic life, possibly satirizing decorative choices or home furnishings, though the specific reference is unclear without additional context. The page's humor relies on domestic and social observation rather than explicit political content.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE TOCK-TOCK CLUB. + *GPEAKING of unreasonable, obstinate men,” said the old member, flecking the ashes from his cigar and placing his foot daintily upon the table, “there was Major Budgers. Poor fellow! He's dead now, and in heaven, I hope—that’ only place where they would have any tience with him, I happened to be with him the day he died. Met him on the street, staggering like three drunks. Asked him what was the matter. He said he was dizzy; threatened with apoplexy. I took bim home; got a doctor. Doctor looked him over; said “twas indigestion ; nothing serious. The major arose to his feet, called the doctor aliar, got into a terrible passion, face went purple, got apoplexy in spite of the doctor. Was conscious a second just before the end came, looked into the doctor's face, smiled. “TL kn it, you dam fool,’ he said. Died happ: . . . . . “Fair case,” commented the retired rounder, breaking off a yawn, “but there was old Settington. If it wasn’t for old Settington BETTER OFF DEAD. Epirn— The good die young.”” Harotp —"* Yes—there's no use living in that condition.” ) ial i Mrs. BuLLDoc—"' Some people seem to have an awful time getting the rats out of their houses. Now, they don't bother us at all.* Mr. ByzM—** This new ornamental iron fence and at dusk. I wonder how they'll look——> I'd give the major first place. one day ; told his wife he had appendicitis; knew it. Doctor was called; scouted the appendicitis idea; said appendicitis was a fad; nobody had He, too, was taken sick Set- tington arose from his couch of suffering; in- jured the doctor's person; sent for another doctor. Other doctor said appendicitis never gave a man pain so high up as Settington’s pain ; tried to carry the idea that ‘twas something else; got kicked out. Third doctor came ; looked wise ; winked at himself; said nothing much; left a lot of strong medicine. Settington made arrangements for a post-mortem ; passed away three days later. Doctor in charge of post-mortem said, ‘ Bless my soul! His vermiform appendix #s in- flamed.’ Settington opened his eyes; snorted ‘Of course, you chumps!" Died again.” D, M, TALMADGE. A NEW RELATIONSHIP. Y SISTER she'd be, I must ne'er ask again, She said, but one hope still I saw ; I don't ask her hand then, I simply desire To be my own brother-in-law. OH, WHAT A DIFFERENCE IN THE MORNING! tying-post look all right — inthe comicbooks.com