Judge — March 17, 1900 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAINT PATRICK’S- DAY FABLE. PON an occasion, since when many years have gone scooting adown the corridors of time, an owl sat winking and blinking in dignified meditation on a limb be- fore the door of his dom- icile. While he was thus engaged there came marching along, each with the pomposity of a white elephant in his measured stride, a number of well- meaning monkeys, solemnly and sternly prac- ticing up in a certain Celt- ic ceremonial which was destined to be in after years very dear to the Hi- bernian heart. COULDN'T HIT A FLOCK OF BARNS. Observing the owl, a Miss SquiRREL—'* Oh, the wicked man ! he swore right in my presence.” red - whiskered monkey sin neweous: 2 } rushed up before the bird and, slash- ‘To rave of beauty is not necessary, it . ing the atmosphere in a most truculent When her reflection oceui ies the gaze : manner with: his bit of a cudgel, cried Though estimates of loveliness may vary. LZ, ‘ ‘The overwhelming total gives Jean praise. X . out, ‘And, since she shines in those Casino plays, : 2 Mow futile were the critic’s commentary ! “Phwot the divil d’ yez mane, ye dummed golf-playin’ sassenach, be hootin’ at us? Kim down from thot till Oi club the whole head aph OFF COLOR. Cobwigger —" Did the boys salute the bride by throwing old shoes at her? O'Houlihan —** No, be jabers! “Why, my friend,” returned the ‘ owl in a conciliatory tone, “1 have not Pwhin they saw th’ orange blossoms fits... a.) S { 4 they wint at her wid brickbats.” Pu ib) ay, 41 uttered a hoot since first catching sight of your impressive and exceedingly characteristic pageant, which, I assure you, instead of being a subject for rid- * What are you playing, children 2” icule, affords me great satisfaction to “ We're playing horse, mamma.” behold.” “Wull, Oi belave yez wanted to hoot, annyhow,” said the monkey, still not wholly satisfied. “ Kim down an’ lave me t'ump yure skull for phwot yez didn't do.” “Nay, dear friend,” quoth the owl calmly, “ My hat sits on the present shape of my head very comfortably and, I trust, becomingly ; and I do not care to go to the trouble and expense of having it re-blocked to tit f a lot of superfluous con- tusions; and besides, while I wish you well, f am too busy with my own pleasurable thoughts to have any desire to stir up trouble merely for the sake of adding to the sim- plex munditiis of a Hi- bernian holiday.” Whereupon the mon- key, being twisted into a state of obfuscation by the ornate language of the owl, departed wagging his head doubtfully. MORAL. From this we should learn, first, that supersen- sitiveness is forever hunt- ing for criticism; and, secondly, that it is a great gift, the while you possess —— a sense of humor, to have iveyg eat Pets eich an outward appearance meat ture —"* I can't get it through my head what a vacuum jit. unto that of a whited ‘pITH —"* Oh, I'm afraid you don't know your own mind, — sepulchre. TOM fF, MORGAN, Frog —“* Say, Mr, Stork, take me to some rich family.” comicbooks.com