Judge — March 17, 1900 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

dpe. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AMD CAMADA IM ADVANCE. = $5.00 <0 One copy, one year, or 52 numbers One copy, six meaths, or 26 numbers One copy, for thiteen weeks = + Including the Cunistaas Juoot FOREIGN * SUBSCRIPTIONS ~Te alt Soreign countries in the postal wnien, $0.00 va year. Eunortan saussacerts— /atermational news company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, £.C., London; Brentano's, avenue del Opera, Paris: Saarbach's news exchange, Mains, "7 Corner Fitth Aveave and Sixteeath Street, New York. uy other cartoon weekly in the world. EBT-Circulation larger tha £7 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright In both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, THIS COUNTRY is said to have two million more bachelors shan spin- sters. The balance used to be on the other side, where it surely never belonged. sees IMOTHY WOODRUFF would make a good vice-president; but if Theodore Roosevelt had ambition in that way Timothy would make a pretty good governor. «6 ROERS STAND FOR OPPRES- SION,” says John Hays Ham- mond. Worse than that, When one considers the sufferings of the English army they can be called nothing less than tyrannical, A BOOM FOR MILES as the Democratic candidate for president has been started at Somerville, Massachusetts, by Levi F. Cook; but we doubt if the beef question will be greatly agitated this year. eee THE PRINCE OF WALES is honorary colonel of the English rough riders. He ought to be proud; and yet it must be a serious’ afflic- tion to be obliged to re- flect that he can never die for his country MBs: LANGTRY has received a limited support from our best so- ciety in behalf of the Eng- Jish in South Africa; but the number who hesitated and were therefore lost can hardly be drummed together again. : R. MARKHAM says he is going to write an epic as great as “ Para- dise Lost,” and will have it completed in three years, When he says “great” perhaps he means that it will have as many words. see HAIRMAN DANFORTH finds that the Democrats of the south stick to Bryan, bué are totally opposed to a continuance of the free-silver business. That is to say, they want Hamlet with the play.left out. eee EVEN the Detroit Free Press, Democratic all through, attaches a sixteen- to-one can to the Democratic animal and cries out in,great alarm, “Cut the string!” But the can will remain—Mr. Bryan says so himself. eee DOCTOR HILLS says there never was an Adam, and furthermore Adam didn’t fall. So our accumulation of miseries all these years has been unjustifiable, has it? It is high time to appeal for a new trial and to demand damages for the woes we have already suffered. eee IR RODERICK CAMERON of Canada says the Dominion people will some day rule the continent of North America, annex New Eng- land and as much of New York as they want, and take some of the west- ern plains. Well, well! let us hope they will leave us our national capital, anyhow. AFRAID OF THE DARK, REFORM THAT FAILED. MR MCCONNELL. a temperance lecturer, reformed from whisky mere- ly to give himself up to opium, and now he is desd, It is easy to believe that he would have fared better if he had repudiated his own ad- vice sufficiently to omit reform altogether. A REAL SACRIFICE. MAaccle VAN COTT has been doing evangelical work at five-o'clock teas in Wilmington, Delaware. It seems to us that ladies good enough to give up small-talk at these little festivals for religious conversa- tion and supplication are so nearly converted that the overt act might easily be omitted. It is a sacrifice worthy of the Lenten period. SLANDER BY WHOLESALE. N EFFORT to evangelize Brooklyn resulted in the charge by one evangelist that most lady stenographers were persons of bad character. The statement was made out of sympathy for working girls, but it was as damaging for all that. It was a fair specimen of the wholesale charges of immorality habitual with these gentlemen, and a sufficiency of punishment to make them conservative and careful in their charges hereafter ought to be applied. HOAR FOR PRESIDENT. A CONTRIBUTOR to the New York Evening Post finds that the re- election of President McKinley is becoming more and more doubtful, owing to the growth of the anti-expansion party, and that there- fore it will be well to consider Senator Hoar as a presidential possibility. In the eyes of these mugwumps every convert to treason counts a thousand at least; but we do hope the Massachusetts gentleman will not begin to run until he gets his boots on. HURRAH FOR CATT! M'ss ANTHONY as the head of the suf- frage women is succeeded by Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt, who is apparently an able woman with an ex- cellent capacity for talk; and, remarkable enough, the change was effected without any stuffing of the ballot-boxes. We have al- ways insisted that, given half a chance, women would be as honest as the Mrs. Catt is an ornament to her sex and will prove ‘one to her constituents. It might be well if she could have a couple more syllables to the last part of her name, and we have no doubt she will grow up to them. A CASE IN POINT. MB: PICKHARDT of this town spanked his wife for calling him a pig. and now both parties are suing for a divorce. It is not impossible that the lady called him a pig because pork is a good thing to have in the house; but he is evidently a stupid man, pork or no pork, and totally mis- understood her affectionate advances. A Mr. Pygmalion was frequently called “piggy” for short, and while it is true that he finally had thrust upon him a live woman instead of the stone one previously in his posses- sion he was far better off than if he had used violence in resentment of the familiarity. TWO CANALS, RAN IS SAID to hail with great satisfaction the probable ratifica- tion of the Hay-Pauncefote treaty, and- her consent to the agreement of neutrality will be cheerfully given. “But suppose,” says the Evening Post," the Hay-Pauncefote treaty is rejected, will not France and the other maritime powers be under the strongest compulsion to take up the unfin- ished Panama canal and complete it?" It ought to take very strong com- pulsion indeed to induce France to go back to the isthmus ditch which so nearly wrecked her government and put many of her leading men in jail. Whatever her enterprise may direct, it should be years before she ventures upon that dangerous ground again, comicbooks.com