Judge, 1900-03-17 · page 10 of 20
Judge — March 17, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical items typical of early 1900s humor: **"What She Heard"** is a domestic comedy about a sick Mr. Chubb who, during enforced silence on doctor's orders, hears a quarry blast and misinterprets it as his wife Mrs. Chubb "exploding"—a joke on the expectation that wives should remain silent. The humor exploits period anxieties about women's speech and marital dynamics. **"Solicitude," "Love and Unbelief,"** and other brief items are standard magazine fillers—short jokes, poetry, and quips with accompanying illustrations. **"The Other Variety"** contains two one-liners: one about a grasshopper's jumping ability, another using the pun "horse-sense" for a runaway automobile lacking control. **"An Expert Judge"** depicts Weary Willie (a recurring vagrant character) and Mrs. Farmer in a class-based humor scenario where Willie's shabby appearance allows him to "judge" pie quality by crust sound alone—satirizing both rural simplicity and vagrant cleverness. The page reflects Judge's focus on domestic satire, wordplay, and social observation rather than direct political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHAT SHE HEARD. G00 hung in clouds over the cot- tage near the stone-quarry in Subington, where the Chubbs dwelt. Mr. Chubb was very sick. He lay up- on his bed in a darkened room. It was very quiet there. The doctor had de- creed that no one should talk aloud. Suddenly a blast at the stone-quar- ry was fired. It made a report like un- to that of acannon. It shook the earth, x2 The house trembled, rattling the win- dows. The sick man moved uneasily. “ There!” he whispered. “ Where, dear, what?” Mrs. Chubb bent anxiously over the bed. Some- thing told her that she was to hear words that would nearly break | her heart. She clinched her hands, listening. “There!” said Mr. Chubb in a pitifully weak voice—but little stronger than a breath, “ The—doc—tor—for—bade—her —to—talk—to—me—and—now—she—has—exploded !" “ Humph !" ejaculated Mrs, Chubb internally. And then she sank to her knees, praying that he might'not be taken from her. Coprright, r900, by Judge Company. SOLICITUDE. Weary WiLix—" Your dog jest bit a piece out uv my leg.” Miss Prim —'t Dear me! I hope you bathe regularly.” LOVE AND UNBELIEF, LOVE stood knocking at my door— Love fix't on me mournful eyes. Love, with garland-trophied head. ** As you will,” he said, and bent “+ Have you room for me?” he said ; Low that brow with myrtles brent, “ Lhave knocked here once before, Slung his pipes and palmer-wise Smiling, sighing young Love said, Out along the world-ways went. While I guarded close the door. I saw him go, with dew-brimmed eyes. * Love,” I sighed, with bitter grace, ‘Tho’ long my door has been ajar “+ At some ivied, mullioned oak Never now comes Love to me; Echoes once for you awoke. Other thresholds visits he. At my neighbor's, fair of face ; I can hear him from afar Love wooes not us lack-gold folk," Piping them melodiously, I sighed to pim with bitter grace. While in vain my door ’s ajar. RLIZANETH DUPUY. CUS Dine ~ THE OTHER VARIETY. LIE GRASSHOPPER—"*Aw, say, ma; you don’t play fair: You Freddie —" Why does a runaway automobile cut up such capers?" “can't jump over three men at once.” Cobwigger—* Because, my boy, it hasn't any horse-sense.” AN EXPERT JUDGE. in tell yew right now, before yew open yewr mouth, thet yew won't git nuthin’ to eat here."* “anks, mum ; a ousan’ tanks' I sin tell by your voice w'ot kind uv pie-crust your pies must have.” Mrs, FARMER Weary Wituix, comicbooks.com