Judge — March 10, 1900 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGB BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AMD CANADA IH ADVAMCA. One copy, one year, or 52 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six mcaths, or 26 numbers - ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks - Including the Cunistaas Jv FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTION: Soreign countries im the postal wm ‘@ year. Eunoraan satesacewts—/1 E. C., London: Brentan’s, ai ay. ational mews company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, del Opera, Paris: Saarbach's news exchange, Maii Corner Fifth Aveaue and Sixteenth Street, New York. [Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. EB NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juooe are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. BULLER has crossed the Tugela so frequently that he must occasion- ally have found himself on both sides at one time. eee T MUST be admitted that General Buller manages retreats excellently ; and he is likewise very successful in making them unavoidable. A KENTUCKY MAN claims to have visited heaven in a trance. The claim is probably false. We have heard of no dead angels lately, any- how. BRANCH of the socialist - labor party recently in convention in Rochester nominated a national ticket. It is the first in the field, and we hope to hear the names on it be- fore election. eee [MPERIALISM is what Mr, Bryan is opposed to; ex- pansion is all right, he says. The objectiona- ble term is the invention of his friends, so that after all it is of no account. It IS NOW declared that Lawrence didn’t say “Don't give up the ship.” It may be safely assumed, how- ever, that he thought it; so we'll keep the words and let it go at that. ene GMULTANEOUSLY with the report that the sultan has fits of insanity comes the report that the Turks will soon resume the work of killing Christians; so it seems that the insanity has the same old method in it. ‘Humph! I wouldn't be caught dead in your o R, COCKRAN would have the Democrats go into the next national campaign on a platform consisting solely of the declaration of inde- pendence. That would certainly be appropriate to the party which hope- lessly confesses itself a ‘way-back number. THE LAST WORDS of a man who was hanged in Canada the other day were, “Good-bye, gentlemen. I hope you will all learn to pray, so that you can meet me in heaven.” It never occurred to the magnificent egotist that perhaps the gentlemen would like to go to heaven for some other purpose. A PREACHER in California has resigned because he wants to dance when he feels like it, and he proposes no rebuke if he slaps a man on the back and says jovially, “ Hello, there, Bill!" “Oh, Liberty!" as Madame Roland might remark, “what dreadfully indecorous things are committed in thy name!" BARN TALK. “Ah, good-moming. Miss Corn Sheller!” See my new trap? Won't you come fora litle spin?” yet A FORTUNATE DEPARTURE. ME. GOEBEL served his state and his country best when he passed away. The other man was undoubtedly elected and had been sworn in, and the effort to change that result was an effort to steal. Had Mr. Goebel lived there would have been revolution, and his death therefore saves many lives. TICKLING TO DEATH. HE WIFE of Arthur Edwards of Brooklyn sues for divorce on the ground that her hushand tortures her by tickling her feet. Hitherto villainy of that kind has deen confined to fiction, No real man was ever guilty of it; and if such a man has been found he ought to be lost again with the utmost rapidity. A QUIXOTIC GUSH. R. BRYAN cries out against the one-cent telegraph-stamp which the poor man has to use every time he sends a dispatch. Probably the average poor man doesn’t spend a dollar a year in dispatches, while the average business man, or rich man, spends that amount twice over every day. But if grievances are wanted they can be easily manufactured or imagined. THE PRETTY INNOCENTS. AN INDIANA WOMAN who shot her lover three times, killing him, _ has been acquitted on the ground of accident. The verdict is doubt- less justifiable. No woman could hit the same mark three times unless she aimed at something else. We suspect, however, that the woman is pretty, like all the other women who have had the same ex- perience with the same result. NOT FORGOTTEN. THE COUNTRY is indignant and astounded that Mrs. Dewey should be the re- cipient of insult- ing and officious anonymous notes; but it at least shows that the great public does not forget its heroes and their relatives in three days. Per- haps the heroes would be glad ate if that were the " case, and it isn’t the first time that men and women have prayed to be saved from their friends. THE DENT. ENERAL CORBIN having ordered that no private shall wear a dent in his hat, it will be strange if there is not a revolution in the army. With the dent the prevailing military hat is rakish and becoming. With- out it, it will make the soldiers look like an army of Boers. If there is to be a dent in the hats of the officers the latter will have all the advantage when troops return home to be welcomed by pretty girls. The dent is art. The absence of it is uncouth and totally discouraging to the soldier who is wide-awake enough to have ambition. OUR GOVERNOR. ONE STORY is that Roosevelt takes his orders from Platt and does nothing that the old man doesn’t approve; that he dines with him previous to every political move of any importance; and that he is in fact the servant and lickspittle of the boss. Another story is that Roosevelt does nothing that Platt wants him to do; that Platt is angry and has de- cided to shelve him by putting him on the national ticket for vice-president, but that Roosevelt understands the game and has determined upon having another term as governor, Platt or no Platt. Mix these stories and split the difference, and perhaps you will get the Roosevelt situation about as it is. comicbooks.com