Judge, 1900-02-17 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 17, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short jokes and cartoon sketches typical of Judge's satirical style: **"Not That High"** mocks real estate agents' inflated sales pitches—a man refuses to buy a house because the asking price is impossibly high, using the musical metaphor "high C." **"A Last Resort"** satirizes incompetent lawyers who resort to emotional manipulation (weeping before juries) when lacking legitimate legal arguments. **"Miss Brooklyn"** ridicules the stereotype of Brooklyn women facing loveless marriages to domesticated men reduced to pushing baby carriages. **"A Sincere Opinion"** jokes that a wealthy man's check is his finest written work—suggesting wealthy people are otherwise inarticulate. **"In Kansas"** presents ironic dialogue about prohibition laws: a Kansas native claims strict prohibition while implicitly admitting saloons operate openly, mocking the law's ineffectiveness. **"The Beggar"** references Ruddy Kipling's famous poem about "absent-minded beggars," using it to excuse a beggar's dishonest spending of alms money on alcohol instead of bread. The Valentine and other verses are sentimental poetry padding. Overall, the page satirizes lawyers, real estate fraud, changing gender roles, and prohibition's failures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NOT THAT HIGH. + s YOU ought to buy this house,” said the agent to Cumso. “ At ten thousand dol- lars it is going for a mere song.’ “It may be a mere song,” said Cumso, ~ but it goes to high c, and I can’t reach it.” A LAST.RESORT. Client—" Accord- ing to your showing, both the law and the facts are clearly against us?” Attorney —" Yes; I shall be obliged to weep copiously before Tue uepcrHoG—"* Say, froggie, why won't you play leap-trog with us any the jury.” more?” yi AT A DINNEK-PARTY. First youn N (as he tastes a deviled ceg the first time)—"* My! but these eggs taste funny.” SECOND YOUNG MAN—'tIs that so? The old hen must have been a comedienne.” MISS BROOKLYN. THOUGH your beauty no one can disparage. You are doomed to a dull, prosy marriage. Your valentines all Show a man in a shawl, Who is wheeling a big baby-carriage, A SINCERE OPINION. SS WRIGHT sent me'a cheque this morning.” Well, what of it?” “I consider it the best thing he ever wrote. aeacsee, Fompparareisize sot: lute Wale siGrzt —as it appeared to.him after a few puffs. VALENTINE, FOR some a pot of yellow gold Is hiding ‘neath a rainbow hope ; For others honors manifold Are waiting on art's shining slope. Forgotten is my roseate dream, And very vague my fair ideal ; But, fortune, fickle though you seem, * If you will make one vision real T'll read anew the story old In eyes where prisoned sun- beams shine, And cry," Away with fame and gold, For love shall be my valentine !” ERNEST MEAL LYON. IN KANSAS. Native—“\'m a strict pro- hibitionist, stranger.” Tour ist—" But prohibition, I understand, does not prohibit here.” EXPLANATORY. Native — Sh Lapy—"'I gave you money yesterday because you said you wanted to buy some bread; then you turned right straight sti gaf < = Shel doesn around and walked into a saloon with it. stranger. Them’s my reasons Brccar—" True, Jady ; sad, but true! I am one uv dem absent-minded beggars wot Ruddy Kipling sobs about.” fer belongin’ to the party.” comicbooks.com