Judge, 1900-02-17 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 17, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical vignettes typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Uninviting Description"** and **"Of Two Evils"** are brief social jokes mocking Victorian etiquette and tedious social obligations (awkward dinner guests, unwanted recitations). **"Two Vows"** is a cynical marriage joke: a man swears never to remarry after his wife's death brings him relief. **"What's in a Name?"** satirizes rural Connecticut farmers bearing grandiose patriotic names (Marquis Lafayette, Valorous George Washington) despite their humble station—a commentary on American democratic pretension or immigrant naming aspirations. **"The Useful Giraffe"** (top-left illustration) appears to be satirical commentary on colonial or exotic animals, though context is unclear. **"Just as the Bottle Broke"** mocks working-class Irish pretension: a character boasts about attending a ship launch where champagne was served, seeking envy from peers. **"Getting Friendly"** depicts new neighbors and class dynamics—borrowing sugar represents either friendly neighborliness or calculated social positioning. The page satirizes social climbing, marital discord, and class pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UNINVITING DESCRIP- TION. ss YOU know Tenspot, don't you, Spykes?” “Yes, I know him.” “What sort of a man is he?” “ He is the sort of man that sits cross-legged at dinner.” OF TWO EVILS. First guest Won't you join me in requesting Miss Squaller to recite?” Second guest—" But 1 don't like recitation: First guest—* Neither do 1. But if she doesn’t recite she'll NIGHT, MORN OH, THE USEFUL GIRAFFE! TWO VOWS. ['VE made but two great vous in all my life First, at the altar, when I took a wife; The second, when death eased our mutual pain, That I would never do the like again. WHAT'S IN A NAME? ARCUS and Valorious Hobbs were two old Connecticut farmers. All my life I had been accustomed to hearing them called by these names, or the more familiar ones of Marc and Val. It was not until the other day that, happening to act as a witness to their signatures to some legal document, I discovered their true appellations to be Marquis Lafayette Hobbs and Valorous George Washington Hobbs. JUST AS THE BOTTLE BROKE. Tiesty THRockmorToN—'* When me old pals hear dat I wuz one uv de guys w'ot drinked shampagny at de launchin’ uv dis battle-ship dey'll be green wid envy.” GETTING FRIENDLY. ‘ould I borrow your child for a moment?" at do you want of him?” NEW, NEIGHBOR—"* I want to send him over to the Jones's to borrow a cupful of sugar.” comicbooks.com