Judge — February 10, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STRADDLEBUG TALENT. A MARTYRED ‘muse and a reeking pen; ‘A daub that had better never been Grinding the face of a shrinking wall ; Ten talons that writhe,o’er the keys’and fall, While the he-cat murmurs his madrigal— Straddlebug talent; that is all. A mouthing mummer, Alack! a lack Of the public's pel{—and the long tramp back Over the track and sardonic ties. ** Poor man's frien’! red sockless men— Straddlebug talent. That's its s A skillet of godlike gifts half-fried ; Bubbling springs that the sun hath dried ; ‘The clapper filched from the college- bell. Once, while cocky and full of hope, f ‘The cow tried aping the antelope. Cholly would be more pop- Straddlebug talent. Lo, she fell! ular with the girls were he not OLIN L. Lyman, cross-eyed. WHY HE MOURNED. ++ ARE you one of the mourners?” asked an Arkansas clergyman, who had come over from a neighboring village to officiate at the funeral of a prominent citizen. ~ Ya-as,” replied the dismal-looking man addressed. “I suspected he was figgerin’, befo’ he took sick, on runnin’ away with my wife.” EXTREME CONSERVATISM. WHY HE WANTED TO GO, Stlas—“ Jake's a queer feller. 1 don’t know whether you'd call PARSON My good man, do you want to go to heaven e: mes ete Ae f Darr-pevil. Mike—"* Well, now, that’s just accordin’, parson. If I thought him a pessimist or an optimist. He hain’t had a bicycle fer two years. Slippery Bill was up there I'd goin a minnit, I want just one more crack at that Said it wouldn't be lopg till the automobile “d_be all the rage an’ his feller. bicycle would be a back number.” Hiram—* Well, | don’t know but his head was level. Now, I s’pose he'll be gittin’ an automobile purty soon.” Silas—* Naw! The durned guy says the flyin'-machine is goin’ ter come along ‘fore long an’ make the automobile a back number.” HIS ENVOY. You remind me of papa some ways.” fh, suppose you remind papa of me some ways. T hate to do it myself.” THE DARWINIAN THEORY ILLUSTRATED, comicbooks.com