Judge, 1900-02-10 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 10, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of Judge magazine's satirical style: **"Straddlebug Talent"** mocks mediocre artistic pretension—the "straddlebug" represents someone attempting grand artistic expression (poetry, painting, music) but lacking genuine talent, just going through the motions. **"Why He Wanted to Go"** presents a darkly comedic rural dialogue where a man wants heaven partly to escape an unwanted rival—likely a cuckolding scenario played for laughs. **"Why He Mourned"** uses similar rural dialect humor, with a man suspecting the deceased was planning to run off with his wife. **"Extreme Conservatism"** satirizes excessive caution about new technology: a character so pessimistic about automobiles being replaced by flying machines that he won't adopt either innovation—mocking technological anxiety and paralysis. **"The Darwinian Theory Illustrated"** (bottom cartoon, unclear context) appears to reference evolutionary theory through some social observation. The material reflects early-20th-century American humor: rural/dialect comedy, technology anxiety, marital infidelity jokes, and artistic pretension mockery were Judge's stock subjects.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
STRADDLEBUG TALENT. A MARTYRED ‘muse and a reeking pen; ‘A daub that had better never been Grinding the face of a shrinking wall ; Ten talons that writhe,o’er the keys’and fall, While the he-cat murmurs his madrigal— Straddlebug talent; that is all. A mouthing mummer, Alack! a lack Of the public's pel{—and the long tramp back Over the track and sardonic ties. ** Poor man's frien’! red sockless men— Straddlebug talent. That's its s A skillet of godlike gifts half-fried ; Bubbling springs that the sun hath dried ; ‘The clapper filched from the college- bell. Once, while cocky and full of hope, f ‘The cow tried aping the antelope. Cholly would be more pop- Straddlebug talent. Lo, she fell! ular with the girls were he not OLIN L. Lyman, cross-eyed. WHY HE MOURNED. ++ ARE you one of the mourners?” asked an Arkansas clergyman, who had come over from a neighboring village to officiate at the funeral of a prominent citizen. ~ Ya-as,” replied the dismal-looking man addressed. “I suspected he was figgerin’, befo’ he took sick, on runnin’ away with my wife.” EXTREME CONSERVATISM. WHY HE WANTED TO GO, Stlas—“ Jake's a queer feller. 1 don’t know whether you'd call PARSON My good man, do you want to go to heaven e: mes ete Ae f Darr-pevil. Mike—"* Well, now, that’s just accordin’, parson. If I thought him a pessimist or an optimist. He hain’t had a bicycle fer two years. Slippery Bill was up there I'd goin a minnit, I want just one more crack at that Said it wouldn't be lopg till the automobile “d_be all the rage an’ his feller. bicycle would be a back number.” Hiram—* Well, | don’t know but his head was level. Now, I s’pose he'll be gittin’ an automobile purty soon.” Silas—* Naw! The durned guy says the flyin'-machine is goin’ ter come along ‘fore long an’ make the automobile a back number.” HIS ENVOY. You remind me of papa some ways.” fh, suppose you remind papa of me some ways. T hate to do it myself.” THE DARWINIAN THEORY ILLUSTRATED, comicbooks.com