Judge, 1900-02-03 · page 10 of 16
Judge — February 3, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Safe Guess"**: A child and dog—likely commentary on a poorly-constructed taxidermied or mechanical animal, with the joke being someone inexperienced created it. **"Just a Little Family Jar"**: A domestic confrontation between an African American man and woman, using racial dialect stereotypes common to period satire. The man threatens violence with a razor while dismissing her concerns about his appearance. **"My Lady's Furs"**: A romantic poem about a man's fur coat keeping both him and his companion warm during winter—the humor deriving from calling his bear-skin overcoat "my lady's furs." **"A Mean Man" and "His Warning"**: Misogynistic sketches about a stingy husband losing money and advice warning against marrying a woman trained in public speaking (elocution), depicted as weaponized nagging. The page reflects period attitudes: casual racism, domestic conflict played for laughs, and skepticism toward women's education and independence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SAFE GUESS. ~The fellow who got up that dog was new in the business, I guess.” JUST A LITTLE FAMILY JAR. Mr.,PracitsLow BLossom—'* No, yo' won't thrash me, ‘kase I'se got ma razzer wif me — and I don't care if yo" likes ma appearance or not ; ma appearance suits y me, and yo" disappearance would suit me lots bettah— i so g'way, woman,” OW Ties ee MY LADY'S FURS. Ty z Y LADY'S furs—these days when Boreas blows LN Sine E The color from the last sweet clinging rose, oN i To lay it on her cheek — are fain to please Her dainty self and guard her ‘gainst the breeze ‘That roars the while we sleigh across the snows. And when within them all herself she stows, From lively feet to eyes as dark as sloes, Then all, excepting me, must envy these, My lady’s furs. Yea, all but me, for when she warmly glows And snuggles closely from the frosty foes, "Tis then we're sure that neither one shall freeze, Because—although it's really quite a squeeze— My—hem—my bear-skin overcoat, you know, 's Mv lady's furs. PHILIP VRRRILL MICHELS. 1. A MEAN MAN. Mr. CLoseeist (at breakfast)—"* Dear, | dropped some change, probably half a dollar, last night either ‘on the sidewalk in front of the house or on the way to the piazza. I notice it has snowed during the night, so it is probably lost.” HIS WARNING. EWARE,” said the sage of Kohack, ad- dressing his callow nephew, “ of the girl who is studyin’ elocution. She may have the most soulful sort of blue eyes, hair as yellow as scrambled eggs, a voice of liquid honey, and all this and that and so on; but, all the same, beware of her as you would of the deadly upas tree of the tropics or the equally deadly whiffletree of this latitude. “A woman without the. slightest trainin’ in vocal athletics can jaw a hus- band sufficiently to wear the flesh off of him and break his spirit till his bump of hope becomes merely a dent. So beware of the girl who is armed with elocutionary experience.” S LF-SATISFACTION is the anzsthetic of all 2A MEAN MA Progress. Mr. Cioserist (after breakfast) —"* Well, that little pipe dream of mine worked like a charm.” comicbooks.com