Judge — December 30, 1899 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE AGENT'S WATERLOO, ET me trouble you one moment, Mr. Hombeak.” saluted the suave patent-right man. “I have a ma- chine, out jn my wagon, which I wish to show you— a patent riding-saw with which one man and a boy can cut from three to five times as much wood in a given time as two men can cut in the old way; an invention which is as much of a necessity to the pro gressive farmer as is the roof over his head; a ma- chine which combines simplicity with efficiency and is at the same time inexpensive, durable and "—— “H'm, yes,” replied the shrewd old agriculturist. “I don't s'pose you ever heard of Zimri Tuttle ?” “No, I can’t say that I ever have.” “So? Wa-al, Zimri is a well-meanin’ young booby who lives about three miles over towards Alle- gash. He is a grown man in size, an’ very consider- ably lop-eared. About the only thing he knows how to do decently is to plow. His father, a skinflint of long practice, herds him out to the field in the gray of the mornin’, induces him to climb on to the seat of the ridin'-plow an’ in- structs him to plow straight ahead till the fence stops him, then turn around an’ plow back, ASHAMED TO SHOW IT. TatLor—" Why do you insist upon having such a high-cut vest ? Custower—'' 1 want it high enough to hide the necktie my wife gave me Christmas.” steady, Zimri will set up there as faithful as a knot on a log an’ plow from fenze to fence till told to stop. He"—_ “Ah, yes,” interrupted the agent politely. “Very amusing, | am sure.” “Much obliged. You see, Zimri don't know anything about the passage of time—he jest plows till somebody makes him quit. When dinner-time comes they go out to the field an’ pry him loose an’ aim him for the house. Some- times, when there is a good deal of plowin’ on hand, Zimri’s dad has been known to forgit to notify him of the arrival of supper-time, an Zimri has gone right on plowin’ till it got so dark that he didn’t know where he was at, an’ then he'd lay back an’ beller for somebody to come an’ find him. You see "—— “Quite so. But—er—ah "— ~ Pardon me,” broke in the agent determinedly. “* But if you will have the kind- Mr. Hornbeak, 1° — as it is worth while,” said the old man, “ bein’ as I've got one of ‘em al- th the room it takes up, an’ never has sawed anything but the hired man rate it. No, 1 guess I won't indulge. Wa-al, good-bye! Looks kinder TOM P. MORGAR, “I don’t know ready that ain't wor that first tried to oper like rain, don't it?” It WAS Beth's first The team bein’ strong an’ ness to examine my machin an’ so on. “Wacal, yes. One day last summer, after the old man had set him for half-a-day’s plowin’, the horses walked out through an open bar-way at one end of the field an’ went plowin’ off in a southwesterly direction. Zimnri jest set there ca’mly an’ let ‘em plow. The horses plodded steadily onward an’ the day slowly passed. Night came, but it was moonlight an’ Zimri didn’t no- tice the difference. It was nearly mornin’ when his father finally overtook him, thirteen miles from home an’ still plowin’ across the face of nature in the di- rection of lower California, an’ "—— * Now, Mr. Hornbeak,”— “Fact, I assure you! 1 s’pose if somebody hadn't stopped him, an’ the horses had held out, he would have plowed clear into the Pacific ocean before he noticed that he was actin’ kinder peculiar. He "—— CAUSE OF HER DISTRESS. pair of rubbers. On looking at the soles of them she exclaimed, greatly troubled, “Oh, mamma! something ‘s the matter with them ; they're all coveréd with pimples.” Mrs, WraTHerns—" Here ! here ! no quarrel over the amount of wood Arr Tyre —" Right, mum. Well obliged ter leave in avoidence ter make good me word. Ta- A CONSCIENTIOUS MAN. ee NN Why are you leaving? You said before getting a breakfast that there would be would saw in payment.” | knowin’ de amount uv wood-sawin’ I'd do would precipertate a quarrel, I'm mum | comicbooks.com