Judge, 1899-12-23 · page 35 of 46
Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains multiple Christmas-themed satirical pieces from Judge magazine: **"Peace on Earth"** (top) is a sentimental poem by John Darl White contrasting the holiday's promise of peace with the reality of war—specifically referencing a loved one "in war's red tragedy / Near half the world away," likely alluding to WWI. **"Apathetic Resignation"** mocks newlyweds where the fiancé mechanically agrees to Christmas stocking-hanging, having been told he "must needs now hang up his watch"—suggesting male resignation to domestic obligations. **"A Christmas Tragedy in Three Acts"** depicts newlyweds decorating at 2 a.m., wishing they could take "the tree and house along," culminating in morning "tearful rife" and "shock"—satirizing marriage's disillusionment. **"A Definition"** jokes that a "Christmas green" is a young man who quarrels with his girlfriend in December but reconciles to secure a gift obligation. **"Her Status"** is a brief quip about a woman who "always does the kissing," implying female dominance in romance. The overall theme mocks Christmas's sentimental expectations versus grim reality—war, marital discord, and commercial obligation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“PEACE ON EARTH.” S SOME sere leaf wind-blown, the yellow light Hath drifted from the earth, Si G And bell and anthem peal throughout the night Y W The message of His birth, Then like the fleeing shadow of their sound There comes the world-old dream Of waiting hearts: a little town flag-crowned, And all the streets agleam ; And music like the country’s own great call Sets feet and pulse astir, As arms and men and flaunting banners, all Swirl onward in a blur. Ob, what to me the benedicite ‘And promise of the day, With one of mine in war's red tragedy Near half the world away! TORN DAML WHITE, APATHETIC RESIGNATION, +6 YES, dear!” said his affianced, nestling closer, “| expect to hang up—er—one of my stockings Christmas eve.” “Yes, pet.” he replied mechanically—for had not the cue been given that he must needs now hang up his watch ? i. The Newweds' tree was gayly decked, The time was two a. m., When Weary Will and Alzo Recked Looked in and said, ‘*Abem !* 2. ‘Then quick their wardrobes they did shake ‘And put the presents on. Said Weary, "* Too bad we can’t take ‘The tree and house along.” HER STATUS. * She says she has never been kissed.” ++ T guess that's right—she always does the kissing.” A DEFINITION. Little Elmer— Papa, what is a Christmas green ?" Professor Broadhead—" A Christmas green, my son, is a young man who, having fallen out with his best girl early in December, makes up with her in time to be compelled to buy her a Christmas-present.” 8. When Mister Newwed and his wife Got up at eight o'clock There was a scene of tearful rife— Sobs, anguish, moans and shock ! A CHRISTMAS TRAGEDY IN THREE ACTS. comicbooks.com