Judge, 1899-12-23 · page 27 of 46
Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes middle-class American consumer culture and gift-giving excess around 1890s Christmas. The main poem mocks a family where *every* member—twelve people total—wants the same expensive item: a bicycle. Santa, overwhelmed by this "united family's" identical demands, solves the problem by giving them cheap cable-car transfers instead, a humorous deflation of materialistic expectations. Secondary cartoons play on related themes: children moving houses worry Santa won't find them (solved by a homemade sign), and a father gives his daughter an empty trunk as a "surprise," mocking both parental cheapness and daughters' expectations of material gifts. The satire targets the anxiety and absurdity of Christmas commercialism—the pressure to provide identical luxury goods and the gap between desire and reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SANTA CLAUS'S PERPLEXITY. ESIDE the chimney Santa Claus Stood long in puzzled thought How to adjust to each one's taste The presents he had brought, Then carefully from each to each He walked in pensive wise, While the reindeer on the fire-escape Stared in with all their eyes. Now all aghast stood Santa Claus, His round face full of awe. “Such a united family,” Quoth he, ‘* I never saw. Grandpa and grandma, father too, Mother and Nell and Fred, Aunty and uncle, Joe and Jim, Esther and Baby Ned, Each wanted just one article— It really was too shocking To see ** I want a bicycle," Pinned fast to every stocking No Santa Claus, however rich, Could stand this awful tax, For really twelve new bicycles Would strain the stoutest packs. CHRISTMAS MORNING AT FOUR A. M. “Til give ‘em wheels,” cried Santa Claas, “Come, Hannah, git up an’ help me foh de chillun wake up; dem blame tu’keys And laughed with loud ha-ha’s. dun roost on de Chris'mus-tree las’ night.” ‘Then filled their stockings with eight-cent ‘ t ‘Transfers for cable-cars ! INSURANCE AGAINST MISTAKE, eR PRATT, + PROB, do you s’pose Santy Claus will know where we've moved to?” GREAT EXPECTATIONS. whined his small brother Johnny. “Course he will,” said Bob ; “don't you see that big sign I've printed and nailed on our post ? “+ EP Auenshun, Santi claws! Bob and Johnie’ Jones lives here, now. Don't go and pass bye on the uther side like the Preast and the levite, but come in and rest we know yure awfle tired I’ ” Brown—"What are these two things that will make your Christmas happy ?” Mrs, Brown—* The onc is to have Johnnie stop blowing his whistle, and the other to have you swear off wetting yours.” THE OLD MAID'S CHRISTMAS. PRESENT. Papa SMITH (nine a. m.)—** Merry Christmas, daughter! this 4. trunk is yours ; also I have a slight surprise for yoa that "— ANABELLE—" Oh, papa, ain't you a dear !"" comicbooks.com