Judge — December 16, 1899 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IVANHOE MODERNIZED. (THE CELEBRATED TOURNAMENT SCENE.) HE gates..were opened and the two champions advanced, one from either end of the lists. Truly, it were hard to choose the victor, so gallant the men and so bravely-caparisoned * their steeds. Billy the cub was seated in an automobile whose frame shone in nickel and gay paint. ‘The prevailing hue was red and the trimmings were black. The tires were reversi- ble, resilient, non-puncturable speeders. The springs were the latest. made-to-order ride- easies.. The seat was a cush- ioned swayback. Rudolph the rip was mounted in a magnifi- cent double-back-action, self- Hhinili) | propelling Runhard & Stoppit me autocart of a deep maroon, trimmed in silver. The badge he bore read, “The best is the cheapest—six hun- NOT IN THE ROMANC lars, No discount." Billy the cub displayed “Say! git out an’ go away. Dis conwersation ain't meant fer no childish ears. red do mee re ears kids know about fellers an’ love an’ romance? Go chase yerselfs !" Wot does youse The outcome seemed doubtful. Suddenly Ru- dolph the rip leaned sideways and thrust. sharply with his arm. A shout of triumph went up from his supporters—partisans of the house of Runhard & Stoppit. He had stuck a pin into the non-punct- urable tire of the off wheel of the opposing auto- mobile. Billy the cub was disabled. own 1. sani. MOST SURPRISING. Mrs. Sayling- Breese (reading report of * cup" race)—" Wasn't it surprising that either boat should sail over the course when both met with the same accident ?* Mr. Sayling- Bree Why, what on earth are you talking about? There was no accident to the Columbia. Mrs, Sayling-Breese—" You. are quite mis- taken, my dear. This report says that they both broke out their spinnakers.” HADN'T HEARD THE NEWS. First Briton— But | thought we had the Boers whipped some time ago?” Second Briton—" So we did, and the fact was printed in every newspaper in the English-speaking world; but it looks as though them thic Dutchmen couldn't read a word of English.” THE SPARROW (zatching the ram attacked by bees)— ton with capers.’ ” the words, “Built like a bicycle. , guna ti One price to all—six hundred and (ul Ki Hh i twenty-five dollars.” itn The contestants, managing ¥ their autos with consummate skill, slowly advanced toward each other and saluted ; then they quickly turn- ed, Billy the cub making a graceful demivolte on two hind wheels, and rode back to their positions, where they awaited the signal. “Tam ready!” called the cine- matograph man. Instantly the champions rushed forward, putting their autos to the highest rate of speed. A moment —and wjth a crash they met in the middle of the lists. So true did each steer that they came together fairly, so that the autos reared and nearly fell back- 2 Re aaa naling Oe et THE MAIDEN'’S PRAYER—AND THE ANSWER. ; : Miss Forteicn (laying down love-story)—"* Ab, Cue holding the levers and glaring at pi4 Cupid! Fickle little fairy, come to me, come to me! tyyted one another. Ih, Jo comicbooks.com