Judge, 1899-12-16 · page 5 of 16
Judge — December 16, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains several brief humorous pieces typical of late 19th-century American satirical magazines: **"His Excellent Plan"** mocks the common excuse for delayed mail—a husband admits his wife's method of mailing letters (giving them to her directly) ensures they go out promptly, implying wives are more reliable than men's good intentions. **"The Way of It"** and **"Thermometric"** are gentle domestic humor about marriage dynamics and affected speech patterns. **"Judge's World's Fair"** references the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, offering a romantic poem about a "Montenegro Mountain-Maid." **"Compromised"** appears to be theatrical gossip about a messenger boy in actress Tottie Tiptoe's dressing room, with concern about a rival (Maggie McCormack) discovering a romantic note. The page also includes racist ethnic humor in the opening dialogue with stereotyped dialect. The illustrations and shorter jokes reflect Judge's typical mix of social satire, marital comedy, and theatrical celebrity gossip aimed at educated, urban readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* Say, my uncle dats visitin’ us has got a wooden leg.” Ugh! dat’s nuthin’, When I was down ter New York I saw a man dat was a// wood in front of a cigar- store.” HIS EXCELLENT PLAN. “| KNOW that some of you fellows carry let- ters about in your pockets for weeks before mailing them,” said Cawker, “but I have a plan which never fails to get them to the post-office promptly.” “What is your plan?” asked Cumso. “T give them to my wife to mail.” BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT? re these ation, col- Colonel Blugrass— Oh, yes. Occasionally, even, they get what they call drunk; but their standard of intoxication is miserably low.” PUZZLE. What did Johnnie get for his birthday? COULDN'T THINK OF IT. . COME, John,’ said the wife of the night- watchman; “better have a cup of coffee before you go on dut) “No,” he replied firmly; “it might keep me awake all night.” THE WAY OF IT. HE ONCE was a bachelor gay: Even now he is happy and free, For he always can have his own way, When his wife tells him what it shall be. THERMOMETRIC, Miss Beacon-Hylle—* Sunday was an exceedingly debilitating day. I did not con- sult the thermometer, but the humidity was excessive, and I am confident the mean tem- perature "—— Miss Lakefronte (interrupting)—" Yes, indeed! It was the meanest temperature we've had this fall.” STANIWS MOMTENELRO JUDGE'S WORLD'S FAIR. NO, XXXVII,—MONTENEGRO MOUNTAIN-MAI “ Come down, oh maid, from yonder mountain height, 1g the laureled bard. san; Vet—I don't know! It seems to me I might ‘Ask something not $0 hard. Live like the edelweis, and ne'er descend ro meet your lover true But call him from your castie, centle friend, ‘And he will climb to vou! COMPROMISED. NGER-BOY (in Tottie Tiptoe's dressing-rcom, waiting for reply to note just delivered, in a stage whit -at Scott an’ great Scott! If Maggie McCormack should sec me now everything would be off be- comicbooks.com