Judge — December 2, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. ‘One copy. for thirteen weeks. Including the Cunistaas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt Soreign countries in the postal wri ‘a year inter national news company, Bream's building, Chancery lam avenue del Opera, Parts; Saarbach's news exchange, Ma Corner Fifth Aveaue and Sixteeath Street, New York. cor th my other cartoon weekly in the world. LISHERS,—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, THE ENGLISH can give thanks that the Boers have not smashed them to smithereens, MB: HOPPER has his fourth wife, and several of the outlying districts yet to hear from. THE BRITISH dug for a woodchuck = PIE AS POETRY. SOCIETY which has for one of its objects the manufacture and sale of pumpkin pie is being organized in Boston by a niece of Longfel- low. The lady is undoubtedly a poet herself. and every genuine pie of that kind is a poem worthy of her uncle’s gentus. A PAIR OF THEM. MB. GORMAN wants a conference to induce Bryan to withdraw. ‘That is a kind of politics which Bryan doesn’t understand; and why should he learn it when two-thirds of the Democratic party want him for their candidate and will have no other? * But Mr. Gorman might take the sec- ond place on the ticket, y'know A MATTER OF COMMERCE, FROM THE FACT that a general of the rebel army in the Philippines offers to deliver the army, and Aguinaldo as well, to our forces for a certain sum of money, it seems reasonable to suppose that the commercial principle dominates all others with those people, as it certainly does with the second Washington himself. A QUEER DEFENSE. MB: FARNSWORTH of Chicago, who has fortywo wives, will defend himself against the charge of bigamy on the ground that the sultan of Sulu, who is formally recognized and unearthed a bear. Surprises like that are very annoying. KENTUCKY ORATOR says Mr Bryan stands like a great rock. Now what does he want to do that for* fine.” ANN five mC if T IS JUST worth while mentioning that Toral surrendered to Shafter. and not to Sampson or anybody else. DOES ANYBODY doubt that the | Democracy and the mugwumps would give thanks if Aguinaldo were to whip our army in the Philippines? MB: BRYAN says he doesn’t want office for the money there is in it. This shows, perhaps, his disinterested- ness in trying to lower the value of it. E HOLD only one hundred and seventeen out of forty-two thou- sand square miles in Luzon. But that’s nothing ; this is no time for agriculture anyhow EAT RAW VEGETABLES, says a New York doctor. and you can live one hundred and twenty years. Have them cooked and you cannot live so long, but you can die happy Repustican ELEPHANT— without breaking into the type THE PRINCE OF WALES received Benjamin Harrison, and when it was all over the ex-president wiped his eyes and remarked proudly, “What do I care now if I didn’t get a second term?" T MAY be well for Senator Mason to resign because he cannot indorse the Philippine business; but before he announces himself for re-election he had better consider the experience of Conkling and Platt. OME TEMPERANCE LADIES cry out with a great voice against sweet cider, and one of them wants to destroy the cider-mills, Let the great work begin in the proper locality. Let them dynamite the apple- orchards. HAP YOUNG CORNELIUS mared according to the demand of his father he would have been the head of his family and richer than he is; but what is money in comparison with blighted affections and loss of self-respect ¢eTHE MORE SULKY tie man the more cheerful the wife should be,” says the bishop of London. It isa great truth. Possibly a little human nature on the part of the wife may occasionally prevent; but she must get rid of all the human nature she has and be mighty quick about it. Tam like Uncle Sam on the front page If this national expansion keeps on f won't be able to move either way by this government, is also a polyg- amist, and the constitution provides that no citizen shall have rights which are not guaranteed to another. So that if the defense prevails men may have all the wives they want and be as miserable as they can DISLOYALTY. QNE CANADIAN NEWSPAPER says that if the question arises whether to be obliged to help the Brit- ish in the Transvaal or to insist on a separation it will advise separation. The ties that bind in this case are ap- parently weak. What, however, if sep- aration might prevail? Canada surely could not go it alone; and if she chose to belong to the United States she would come in with the fact establish- ed that secession is not allowed. il? MCKINLEY ALL RIGHT. THE PEOPLE stand by the admin- istration, and the anti- imperial mugwumps are rebuked. In Massa- chusetts, Ohio and Towa especially the Democrats supported the anti-expan- sion idea, and are badly beaten. New Jersey is loyal and even Kentucky is Republican, while New York and Kan- sas show Republican gains. Next year the Democrats must confine themselves Copperheadism is as repulsive now as it was to free silver and the trusts. during the civil war CHURCH AND STATE. HE CHURCH of this country wonld not have admitted the ancient patriarchs to our congress because they had too many wives; yet it preserves their memory with the utmost sacredness and quotes them as models of good living. Miss Gould and the other opponents to the ad- mission of Mr. Roberts to the congress are more or less right; but it is at least a credit to the man that he doesn’t propose to put aside any of his wives or children to render himself eligible. GIVE THANKS. HERE ARE INDIVIDUALS who find it difficult to select the things for which they ought to be thankful; but they are at least alive, and they can rejoice over the prosperity of the masses. The couintry is doing well; the supply of food is large, even if their share is small; there is no epidemic, and the list of accidents and death is only usually large. And it ts so much better to give thanks than to growl, even if one happens to be a Massachusetts Atkinson who is never happy unless he is miserable. Next year at this time we shall have the Filipinos whipped and McKinley elected to a second term: so that we can give thanks not only for the things that are but for those that are to come. comicbooks.com