Judge — November 11, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae. YUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAMADA 11H ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one year, or $2 numbers One copy, six menths, or 26 numbers - One copy, for thirteen weeks facluding the Cunistaas Juocs FOREIGN SUBS Soreien countries ‘a year. rational mews co EW-Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly im the world. F¥- NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS. —The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Lafringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted Dp ANDREE find the north pole or did the north pole find him? W HILE BRITANNIA doesn't rule the wave, let us admit that she's the gem of the ocean. SENATOR MA- SON wants Dewey for _presi- dent, and as for E. Atkinson he wants the angel Gabriel. [JF THERE had been in Kansas such prayers for wind as were utter- ed here recently the result would have been a cyclone. THE MAN who first discovered Dewey was Dewey, and he seems to be as well acquainted with himself as when the acquaint- ance began. R. MOODY says Chicago doesn't need re- form; but as it is a Chicago paper that so reports him it is more manifest than ever that it does. ANY PERSONS mention Poultney Bigelow as Poult. We are afraid this familiarity will drive Mr. Bigelow to a new declaration of war against us. HE V ZUELA SETTLEMENT was reached without the loss of a drop of blood; but the shedding of words and money is beyond calculation, ¢¢THE MAN must be near-sighted,” thoughtfully remarked an injured person who had been kicked by a long-haired youth. “He evi- dently took me for a foot-ball.” [1S IMPOSSIBLE, thinks the Cleveland Leader, to insult any man by mentioning him as a candidate for president. It is just possible, how- ever, to insult the office in that way. DOCTOR HILLIS says there are seven hundred thousand persons in Brooklyn who do not go to church; and we have noticed, ourselves, that the Democratic vote there doesn’t seem to fall off any. L=t US ASSURE the czar that it was the lesser peace conferences that settled the boundary lines in Venezuela and Alaska without blood- shed, and they were more or less inspired by the greater one at the Hague. MASTER OR MAN? [7 1S A QUESTION whether Dewey is right in saying that Aguinaldo is a mere tool. Appearances certainly seem to show that he has the guidance of a large number of men, and if he were to die there is small doubt that the rebellion would go out like a brief candle. OUR PIRATE PRESIDENT. READERS oof the Evening Post are half persuaded to look upon McKinley as a pirate king Yet he seems to be an amiable man. We don’t believe he ever cut a throat; though, to be sure, he might have scuttled a few Spanish ships if any of them had come around his way. IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS. F THE KAISER had evidence to show that Dreyfus was innocent it was villainous cowardice not to present it before the end of the man’s trial; but it will be very effective as a check to any demonstration against Germany on the part of the French government and its war department. THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE. EORGE FRED WILLIAMS has had Bryan delegates elected to the Democratic national convention a year ahead of the proper time. If that man had created the world he would have had it populated long be- fore he had raised the necessary pro- visions in behalf of the an-hungered in- habitants. TWO VIEWS. THE BEST MARK of hon- or is no mark at all. So thinks Verdi, who begs the Ital- ian government not to give him a dec- oration in token of the genius of which the world already knows. On the oth- erhand,decorations are proper and de- sirable, as Dewey knows. It depends upon how you feel about it. JONES DUNNO. Cc HAIRMAN JONES, just AN ACCEPTABLE SON-IN- LAW. DAUGHTER'S LOVER —"* Major Mobile, Ihave called to ask you for your daughter's hand.” Major Mouite—" But are the stories true, sir, about your raising fighting - cocks ‘and dogs, playing craps and poker, and keeping four- teen different brands of whisky in your cellar?" DAUGHTER'S Lover—" They are, sir.” Major Moutte—" Then, God bless you, sir! take her and be hap- py. and make this house your home, sir.” notwith- standing previous declarations to that effect, whether sil- ver will be the leading issue next year. As to trusts, he remarks sagely that the question must be met; and as to the Philippines, things must be changed or this country will be committed to imperialism. The man seems to have lost heart, and tongue too. He was blatant. He is now ill. A MONSTROUS PENALTY. THE COLORED EDITOR of a religicus weekly in Florida says the president's indorsement of the judgment of experts in favor of the canteen in the army will send many soldiers to everlasting punishment and cost the president ten thousand votes. The votes count very little in this emergency; but everlasting torment for the sin of taking a drink occasion- ally is so out of proportion against the error as to shock the judicial mind. Can't the man cut the penalty down to a couple of centuries a drink? BLACKMAIL. THE CORNER-STONE of the new federal building in Chicago was the work of non-union workmen, and M. J. Sullivan and other labor lead- ers said it should not, therefore, be laid, with or without the assistance of the president. After this declaration, it is charged by the Times-Herald, Sullivan offered to say nothing against the ceremony if certain parties would give him five thousand dollars. This serious charge has not been met by Sullivan, and he chooses not to sue the Times-Herald {or libel. We should think the head of this man would be demanded by the work- men of Chicago, in either a charger or the Chicago paper's waste-basket. comicbooks.com