Judge, 1899-11-04 · page 5 of 16
Judge — November 4, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains satirical commentary and seasonal humor typical of late 19th or early 20th-century American satire. **"The Kind She Wanted"** mocks Irish immigrant speech patterns, a common Judge target. Mrs. Dooley requests "iced tay" (iced tea) by the pound—absurd because tea is measured by weight, not volume—playing on stereotypes of Irish working-class unfamiliarity with American commerce. **"A Touching Expedient"** satirizes polygamy debates, likely referencing Utah's prominent Mormon practice. A candidate defeats his polygamist opponent by circulating a pamphlet asking voters whether wives should attend official duties while childcare remains undone—exposing the impracticality of polygamy. **"Halloween"** is straightforward seasonal poetry celebrating the holiday's traditions among young people: divination games, fortune-telling, and romantic rituals. The ornamental philosophizing at top is typical Judge filler—pseudo-intellectual commentary on human nature and hypocrisy. The page's illustrations emphasize working-class and immigrant subjects, reflecting Judge's satirical focus on American social hierarchies of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. PHILOSOPHIES are formed to account for one’s own idiosyncrasies, to excuse his peccadilloes, to elevate his short-comings, and so satisfy his own vanity. Individuals of exceptionally strong character and de- termined will are so covetous of that power that they often fail to endow their children with any share of it. The true philosopher becomes philanthropist. with age, while the milk of unsound philosoph$ upon exposure is changed to the curds and whey of modern cynicism. Souls communicate by occult telegraphy. The signs made in dots and dashes pass uncomprehended or unob- served by the material intellect until they flash out in visi- ble demonstration. No, my dear pessimist; it is not that children and men always want what is not good for them, ‘Though it does quite often happen that what children and men want is not good for them. FULL-PLUMED TURK Halloa, Willie! What in thun- There was a man who was churlish and unsociable. der struck your tail-ph lawn-mower : 7 rare Cohiba cet te ‘aw the long hat-feather craze 80 he made a philosophy which gave only to vulgar and has struck town. Take a friend’s advice and skip to the woods.” —_plebeian strains the instinct for companionship. He had weak eyes and a feeble digestion, and he found these to accompany a superior intellect. He was sel- dom faithful in his loves, and he found stability to be a mark of narrow minds, And so philoso- phies are made, NZEL ronTe caRio. A TOUCHING EXPE- DIENT. Mr, Newed —“1 wonder JUDGE'S WORLD'S FA72. how that Utah man managed to. No. Xxxt,— THE GIRL THAT ‘ : THE BANK AT defeat his popular wife, against eee whom he ran for office? Where Pans reaches ber limit hued —" Sil Monte Carlo just begin: Mr, Oldwed—" Sitnply by No'yreken banks can dit issuing a circular to the voters ‘Sull gayly the roulette spins. asking how ¢hey would like to ‘And some go there for the dinner, ; me go there for tun: attend to the children while their ut\youtre'nct only @ winner = wives were attending to official You're also a prize that's won. duties.” A SHREWD a ee MOVE. Fd V: Zhe Cora—"What sense can you see in the game of golf?" Merritt —" The sense is displayed by THE KIND SHE WANTED, the players im having Mrs. Dooury—"" A pound av tay, if ye place." a boy to carry-the big Grocer—"* What ki bundle of sticks for Mrs. Dooney—" Oi'll take a pound av the iced tay Oi hear about.” them.” HALLOWEEN. CURIOUS pranks and tricks are seen Lovely girls with bell and book Bei In some brook or mirror look ; Youngsters with rapt wonder note Apples in a tub afloat ; While some put chestnuts on the fire To tell the fortune they desire; Or in the yard, with oats and kale, t what romance shall prevail, On the eve of Halloween. Eerie is the moonlight's glow : Then the lads and maidens know Cupid's ritual—and to spell Love's divine, ineffable ‘Transporting thrills, that soothe or smart Many a young and beating heart. Te On thei tricksy rounds to-night Go kobold, fairy, elf and sprite ; But safe beside the fireplace blaze Gay groups bring back those early days When we, who look through vanished years, Had their pre-visioned hopes and fears, And when no dearer night was seen Than this which comes with Halloween. JORL Benvon. comicbooks.com