Judge — September 23, 1899 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BEE UP TO DATE, WOULD not accuse Blunderby of stu- pidity, because he might be pained were he to hear of it. He is simply lacking in cognizability, or something like that, and it is not at all serious, only unfortunate. He is a good fel- low —frank, open-hearted, guileless. He confided to me once, without even so much as a word to lead him up to it, that he loved Dolly Wadner devot- edly, and that he would give the world for one kiss from her. And yet— He and Dolly’ were sitting to- gether in the Wadner front yard one evening, thinking of one thing and talking of several others, including bugs. They had been there for some time. The stars had come out and the electric lights had begun to twinkle along the street. The hammock squeaked gently as it swung to and fro, Love was in the air, but Blunderby made no move to take advantage of its presence. The conversation drifted calmly from one sort of bugs to another, until finally it reached the kissing-bug, that horrible insect which caus- ¢s dreadful swelling and death—in the news- columns. Suddenly Dolly started violently and screamed. “ Wawhat is it?” asked Blunderby, great- ly concerned, “0-0-0-0! A kissing-bug !” A MERITED CHASTISEMENT, “Why are they mobbing that man? Why, he referred to our flag, that the boys fought so nobly for, as a rag on the end of a stick.” STRANGER—"* The deuce' Spoke of the stars and stripes that way, did he?” Cinize: Xo, no! It was our base-ball pennant he referred to," “0-0-0-0! It’s in my bonnet, and I don’t think it’s a him—it's a her.” Now she hadn't the slightest suggestion ofa bonnet upon her head, and the statement relative to the sex of the insect was ridiculously transparent; but despite these facts, and de- spite the further fact that she settled down disgustedly when Blunderby showed no disposition to do anything but fan the atmosphere vigorously with his hat, he saw no significance in the circumstance. i “ Mighty narrow escape for the dear girl, don't you know," he said in telling of it after- ward. But it wasn't, poor old chap! DAVID ¥, TALMADGE. LUCKY. HE 18 tacky in love, ‘tis said, And the reason 's not , hard to find, For three girls he has asked to wed And they every one have declined. THE FORTUNATE SEX. Mrs. Crabshaw— “Why am I lucky to be a woman ?” Crabshaw—" Be- cause, my dear, you have- n't your straw hat call- ed in, WES ~~ O asmall service with- : in your profession, A TECHNICAL MISAPPLICATION. charge nothing, and be Puaiu BIFFREY (disgustedly)—"'Say, Mike. blessed for a saint. Ask A PERFECT FIZZLE. dis yacht-visitin’ bizniz is a regular fake. I came aboard a “Hello, Sammy! I hear yer got a new sody-fountain, How dis yacht ter see de ‘ spars,” an’ now I find out dat dey 4 Small fee and be cursed goes she work?” hain't no one goin’ ter * spar.’” for a pig. “Oh, it's a perfect fizzle, Uncle Jimmy.” comicbooks.com