Judge — September 23, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wudpe. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGB BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. Sorvign countries im the postal aye mal news company, Brea ‘Opera, Paris, Saarbach’ Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteeath Street, New York. Eunorean saiss-acents—/aters £. C., London; Brentano's, ave my. ilding, Chancery lane, exchange, Mains other cartoon weekly im the world. EB NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Jvoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infrin of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. CCOXEY having made a fortune, the mean thing! surely the hoboes will camp out on his grass. MR. GOEBEL of Kentucky has reason to suspect that the soul of John Brown is marching on. a A YACHT is a tender thing. If she is intended for a race she ought to be built on toy stocks and kept away from the water. IF THE PEOPLE of France turn to and rend each other let us at least hope that there will be enough left of them to bury the pieces. It IS ANNOUNC- ED that the prince of Wales didn’t send congratulations to Mrs. Langtry. Well, now, will the marriage be declared off? coe RS. LANGTRY says she dearly loves the American public; and it has been suspected before now that she has an ardent affection for some por- tions of it anyhow. eee IF GERMANY and England were to burn in effigy all the natives who have renounced them to become Americans there would be a great boom in the match business. DAWSON recently executed two murderers, and they went off so easily and with such success that the brass band was called out and guns were fired in honor of the event. H's DISINHERITANCE has proved to be fuel to the genius of young Comelius Vanderbilt. He has invented a new kind of locomotive and is able to get up his own steam. cee AN ENGLISH JURY decides that a gas company cannot be libeled. The inability to accomplish that oratorical satisfaction will give rise to countless maledictions and the hopelessness of utter despair. MoRMon ELDERS are permitted to speak on Boston common every Sunday. That is free speech for them;’ and when they succeed in converting some man’s wife the man will perhaps be permitted a little of it himself, tee GENERAL BUCKNER says his kind of Democracy have no desire to join “that mosaic of anarchy, populism and public dishonor” known as the Bryan party. The general had better watch out for his old followers—they're mighty hungry. AN ADVANTAGE. THE 1GUANA—" I find it so hard to get costumes to suit my complexion.” Tie CHAMELEON—"*Oh, Idon't. I just change my complexion to suit my costume.” THE MAN FOR SOME HOUR. ‘THE RESIGNATION of Thomas B. Reed relieves a great deal of apprehension; but he is still young and beautiful, and there may come a time within a few years when he will loom in the political horizon like a great rock in a weary land. Let him take care of his health and get as rich as he can, NO CHANCE. . THE OHIO DEMOCRATS say they bave a good fighting chaneé this fall. If that’s all they have they will be badly beaten. They are not fighters. They are anti-imperialists and opposed to fighting of every de- scription. And if they might fight they haven't the army and they have put their faith in silver money. TO BE WITH THE CROWD. R. CROKER is in earnest in his praise of Bryan; but at the same time he has his eye out for chances to steer that gentleman off the track. His praise is meant for the contingency involved in his failure to do it. He doesn’t want to be at the head of an organization every man of which has his head turned the other way. THE WAY TO LOOK AT IT, ET US WARN the seeker for gold that whisky is likely to be one dollar a glass in Dawson this winter. Why sacrifice the comforts of home for the mere chance of getting frozen to death and taking jim-jams along with him? There is more wealth, to say nothing of safety, in a modicum of home- brew than in all the danger and the con- coction of the Klon- dike put together. A MISTAKE BY MOSES. THE GOVERN- MENT of Russia has added to the fifth commandment an in- junction to honor the emperor and his offi- cials. It was a piece of gross thoughtless- ness to omit these words when the com- mands were first given to an appreciative pub- lic, and if Moses might resurrect himself for a few moments the Rus- sian government would attend to his case, we can tell him. WHICH? X-SENATOR BUTLER would colonize the negroes, and is willing to spend and have our general government spend a great many millions of dollars in that great work. It is impossible to suggest any other effect- ive remedy, for it won't do to hang all the black men; but when the master said to the man, “Either you or I must leave this house,” the man said promptly, ““ How soon will your honor go?" AT LAST. The doctrine that we live hereafter is a conceit of foolish people. Death ends all. All men know it, but for some reason we are unable to understand they do not confess it— Atchison Globe. se THAT QUESTION is settled at last, is it? It has taken millions of years; and the editor of the Atchison G/ode ought to be cowhided for not telling us about it long ago. We never did hear of another man hoarding his information with such sordid meanness. THE OLD STORY. [71S URGED that an educated woman of twenty-four is better able to tell when she is in love than when she is eighteen. Hardly. The fact of the affection is there. She can better judge whether it is wise to marry, but the affliction has arrived. She has a better control of her heart; but the old question is there, whether to marry unwisely and be temporarily happy or refuse and be miserable for years. That is the old story, and it will be the new story as long as the world goes round. comicbooks.com