Judge, 1899-09-23 · page 11 of 17
Judge — September 23, 1899 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and light humor**, not political satire. The content includes: **Poetry & Humor:** - James Whitcomb Riley's "Ike Walton's Prayer," a sentimental poem celebrating simple domestic life - Several short joke exchanges about money, borrowing, dancing, and photography—typical period humor with no political edge **Advertisements:** The page is dominated by product ads: Evans Pale East India Ale, Chester Suspenders, Gold Seal Champagne, Sohmer pianos, Between the Acts Little Cigars, Wilson Whiskey, and tire repair services. These ads reflect early 20th-century consumer goods and messaging. **No Political Content:** There are no identifiable political figures, caricatures, or social commentary requiring historical context. The page represents typical Judge magazine filler—entertainment and commercial content rather than satirical commentary on current events. The humor is universal ("pa, money talks") rather than topical.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IKE WALTON'S PRAYER. Terave, dear Lord, No boundless hoard Of gold and gea Nor jewels fine, nor kine, Nor treasure-heaps of anything— Let but a little hut be mine Where at the hearthstone I may hear The cricket sing, And have the shine Of one glad woman's eyes to make, For my poor sake, Our simple home a place divine — Just the wee cot, the cricket's chirr, Love and the smiling face of her. L pray not for Great riches, nor For vast estates and castle halls— Give me to hear the bare footfalls Of children o'er An oaken floor ; New, rinsed with sunshine or bespread With but the tiny coverlet And pillow for the baby's head ; And, pray Thou, may The door stand open and the day Send ever in a gentle breeze, With fragrance from the locust-trees, And drowsy moan of doves, and blur Of robin-chirps, and drone of bees, With often-hushes of the stir Of intermingling sounds, and then The good wife and the smile of her Filling the silences again— The cricket's call And the wee cot Dear Lord of all Deny me not ! | pray not that Men tremble at My power of place And lordly sway— Lonly pray for simple grace To look my neighbor in the face Full honestly from day to day— Vield me his horny palm to hold, And I'll not pray For gold ; The tanned face garlanded with mirth, It hath the kingliest smile on earth— The swart brow, diamonded with sweat Hath never need of coronet. And so I reach, Dear Lord, to ‘Thee, And do beseech Thou givest me The wee cot and the cricket's chirr, Love and the glad, sweet face of her. James Whitcomb Riley. Little Clarence—* Pa, money talks, don’t it ?” My, Callyrers—"* 1 guess so, my son.” Little Carence—"* Well, then, pa, gimme a penny, sos Lcan hear it whisper 'to me a little." Punch. Evans boasts a Pale East India Ale, As pure as men and malt can make it ; A product proud you cannot cloud, However roughly you may s! | As bright and clear as \ diamonds-dear— “Dear” to the heart | of woman ever— A charming brew de- lighting you, To make it so was our endeavor! Hello, ol mar! You're looking well,” said the chronic borrower to an acquaintance. “ Yes," replied the other: ‘‘and I attribute it to the fact that I have recently given up my | worst habit." ‘* Indeed? And what was that?” asked the c. b. ‘I gave up giving up,” was | the laconic reply.—Chteago News, The first requisi ¢ of a bride is a large caps ity to be foolish and not care if she is.—Prob- ably when the Lord made woman Satan re- solved to invent a lot of foolish things for her to do; but after watching her a while he de- cided to let her take care of that part of it her- self,—New York Press, Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters, | rightly used, leaves the stamp of good health upon the user—bright eyes, clear complexion, and satisfaction in livin; What are those queer-looking trophies the Filipinos wear around their necks?" asked the raw recruit. "* Them’s the medals for the cent- ury-runs they've made during the war.” replied \the Kansas volunteer.— Philadelphia North American, ‘Do you dahnce on your toes, Miss Quick- wit?” “Never, Mr. Clumsey. Other people do that for me.” And he didn’t know just what she meant until he tried to get another dance with her.—Colorade Springs Gazette, Man will not reach perfection until he is born with a button on his under lip and a but- ton-hole in the upper one.—Arkansaze Thomas Cat, “I've come to tell you, sir, that the photo- graphs you took of us the other day are not at all satisfactory. Why, my husband looks like an ape.” ‘Well, madam, you should have thought of that before you had him taken."— Tid-Rits, A flat tin box does not take up much room in the pocket, is not heavy to carry and is 2 real convenience to all who smoke BETWEEN THE ACTS LITTLE CIGARS as it keeps them from breaking or drying and reserves their flavor. t does not add to the THE CELEBRATED SOHMER HEADS THE LIST _ OFTHE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. Tt is the favorite of the artists snd the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers New York Warerooms, SOHMER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 22D STREET. cost—1o for toc. (at all stores) or we will send you 50, anywhere, for 5oc. prepaid. This is one way to save money without loss of com- fort or satisfaction. American Tobacco Co, _* 507-529 W. aad St., New-York City. IN THE STILLY NIGHT, Oft in the stilly night, Ere slumber's chains have bound me, Mosquitoes wing their Aight Down through the gloom around me. They go a-whinging past my ears Just as the dream-gods woo me; Whereat contentment disappears ‘And shivers travel through me. Thus in the stilly night, Ere slumber's chains have bound me, Mosquitoes come to light Upon and buzz around me. 1 And then I toss and make ‘A many a swipe to smash them, And fail and lie awake ‘And hear them singing, dash them! 1 feel like one whose hope is gone, And wonder how in thunder They got between the sash and screen, 1r squeezed in through or under. Thus oft in stilly nights “They come, their outhts bringing, And mingled with their bites Is their infernal singing. —Chicago Times-Herald. No well-regulated household should be with- out Dr. J. G. B. Siegert & Son's Angostura Bit- ters, unequaled as an appetizer. ** No,” said Miss Cayenne, ‘I don't think I should care to vote. Public affairs are too difficult for me.” ** You used to say they were very simple.” “I have changed my mind, It seems to be almost as hard to determine whom you should snub in politics as it is in society.” Washington Star, When the freckled girl took a seat directly across the car from the bright child the others were oppressed with forebodings. But they had not long to remain in suspense, ‘* There's a complexion with a pattern in it!" exclaimed the bright child almost at once. Thereupon the others breathed more freely, for it was like- ly that the worst was over.—Detrott Journal. | The populist—"1 see you mortgaged your farm last week.” The uncertain guantity— “That's what I did.” The populisi—"* Well, when you goin’ to jin us?’ The uncertain quantity—"" Not now, anyhow. I ain't spent the money yit."—/ndianapolis Journal. Henpekt—* Emily, these biscuits aren't the kind that" Afrs, Henpeke (glaring—" Go ahead, Henry—go on!" Henpeke—" That I used to get down in Cuba in the war."—Brook dyn Life. “*T thought the doctor said she ought to go to the seashore.” ** He did; but the siege of sickness she had made her so thin that she said she knew she'd look like a perfect fright in a bathing-suit, so she went to the mountains in- Lagle stead.”"—Brooklyn Mfrs. Kickley—* How can 1 go to such an aflair with nothing to wear but my grandmoth- er's old diamond tiara?” Mr. Kiehley —"1 should say in a closed carriage."—Jewelers* Weekly, “You ought to have heard our preacher's sermon last Sunday. It was a most memorable discourse.” ‘* What was the text?” Well, I've forgotten what the text was." — Chicago Tribune, America’s Leading CHAMPAGNE & “SPECIAL DRY." a pure dev wine with perfect sparkle, fer rented tn bbe bottle and pens Ing to the majority of tases: Linc to conraicscenta. =” WOLD ARAL" inserved rotcclann hotel shat “Call for Gold Seal has a larger sale than any other ‘American Champagne, or sale by all Sian tend fore ecrating “b manu actaree No necessity for it ix becauso something has an expert or am ¢7- penetrated to the inside, and pertvapplianses. it stands to reason therefore that the inside of tho tire is where the puncture should be repaired. The Dunlop Detachable Tire can be ‘opened and repaired on the inside, where the work will be effective and out of sight— not marring the appearance of the tire. These are the onty tools you'll nee. Beokict of aay dealer, or mailed 01 plication. THE AMERICAN DUNLOP TIRE COMPANY, Belleville, N. J. Chicago, 11. COE'S ECZEMA CURE, $1 Goctivein ts /Gtewclans for scceptahle ideas, State If petented. CAS' ‘THE PATENT ZRCCRD, Baltinere, Md. Topee’s Linnany fe fall of pare fun. No politics, te, ‘THE WILSON DISTILLING CO, Baltimore M4. CHICAGO AND WEST—LAKE SHORE LIMITED—The New York Central. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! comicbooks.com