Judge, 1899-09-09 · page 4 of 16
Judge — September 9, 1899 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"His Sage Conclusion"** features a Kohack philosopher rejecting Christian Science's miraculous claims (turning rocks to bread, brooks to molasses) as impractical, preferring common sense over spiritual transformation. **"Judge's Favorites"** shows a woman in elaborate Edwardian dress—likely satirizing high society fashion excess or wealthy women's vanity. **"A Large Request"** is a brief joke about a widow whose husband left her "so much real estate"—likely mocking inheritance disputes or financial disputes among the wealthy. **"The American Girl"** and the stained-glass window design ("Poor Richard/Croker") appear to reference contemporary figures or social commentary, though the specific references are unclear without additional context. The overall tone mocks pretension, excessive wealth display, and dubious philosophies popular among America's elite.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Photo. by Chickering. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. LOUISE HEPNER, Louise, of blooming blondes most doll-ified, Most @axen, pink-and-white, and big-blue-eyed, You could fot be forgotten, since the day When Hammerstein installed you “ La Poupée."" ‘Tis now Australia’s turn! Beyond the seas, * Belle of New York.” you charm th’ antipodes HIS SAGE CONCLUSION. “AW, WELL,” said the Kohack philosopher meditatively, * while I ain't prepared to positively deny that Christian science can turn the hills into bread, the rocks and ledges into cake, the brooks into molasses, the ponds into wine, the cattle into giraffes and the hogs into elephants; give all the old maids a chance to marry, cause all the creditors to die peacefully in their beds, and create free plug hats, false teeth, tobacco and cel- luloid collars out of nothin’, I will say that I haven't seen it do any- thing of the kind yet. uch bein’ the case, I guess I'll jest stay on the safe side of common sense and remain in my present benighted state for a spell longer. You see where I'd be if I should happen to quit work and go to trustin’ in it for support and it shouldn't be inclined to do anything for me. I'd be caught, and that's all there would be to it. A humble piece of fried liver in the hand is worth considerable more than a whole flock of roast-turkeys in the bush.” LAX WLIT LI WE NO. I.—POOR RICHARD (CROKER). Juncr’s design for stained-glass windows to be placed in the national museum at Washington, D. C. THE AMERICAN GIRL. SINE aired her French knowledge at Paris in vain, Although she essayed it again and again, ‘ntil with a toss of her proud little head, They don’t understand their own languags A LARGE BEQUEST. CuoLty —"* There goes that dashing widow Brown, whose husband left her so much As a man of affairs in the money-market, Mr. Cohen's features, to the casual observer, stamped him at once as a man of dollars and cents. eal estate! How much did he leave 7” Chotty—* He left the earth.” comicbooks.com