Judge — September 9, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THB JUDGB BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AMD CANADA Tw ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year, or $2 numbers» $5.00 One copy, six mcnths, or 26 numbers - 2.40 ‘One copy, for thirteen week Bias Including the Cunistmas Jvoc FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt Sorcign countries in the portal union, $8.00 ‘@ year. S— International news company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, don; tirentano's, avenue del Opera, Paris; Saarback's news exchange, Mains, Corner Fifth Aveaue and Sixteeath Street, New York. toth the United States and Great [ritain, vigorously prosecuted. Ti Docror GALL! R would like to adopt William E. Chandler and treat him kindly as a subject for dis- ae section. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and E HEN is deteriorating. balls now. We hear of hailstones as large as moth- INCE MRS. LEASE went out of pol- itics there is an aching void and a silence so profound that you can hear it squeal. WHEN THE DOCTORS fix things so that men can live ten thousand years the suicides will count up like the national debt. THE FOOL POLITICIAN alluded to by Governor Roosevelt is the man who will never, never vote for a candidate liable to be elected. eee KANSAS GIRL has forfeited fifty thousand dollars in order to marry a Kansas soldier; and yet they say that war is fatal to prosperi eke, +s FRANCE,” says a contemporary, “is in the long run just.” Etainently so; but in such cases as that of Dreyfus the man is liable to dic. WOMAN'S CLUB in London admits no lady less than six fect high. It would be about as reasonable to admit none without a boil on her nose. THE ABILITY of Kansas to give fifty thousand dollars to get the next Dem- ocratic national convention is gratifying, but a bad whack at the Chicago platform. oo WHAT IS NECESSARY to a speedy settlement of the Alaska bound- ary question is a third power to put in a few claims. That would result in an English-American alliance that would effect a settlement in twenty minutes. to th’ day" R, CROKER says he is compelled to go abroad for his pleasures be- cause the New York newspapers won't give him any peace at home. Poor boy! Let him forget the newspapers in love of the dear tax-payers who have stood by him so many years. Say E ARE AFRAID the experiment of the negro preacher of New Jersey who serves watermelon at prayer-meeting will be only tem- porarily successful. Presently there will be a howl for less prayer and more melon, and then the experiment will see its finish. GOVERNOR HOGG reminds one of the able cartoon which represent- ed a colored Croker with a paint-pot at the top of a high and rickety ladder. Below is a large pig, scratching himself on the ladder. “Go ‘way. dah !" says the colored Croker; “you's makin’ mischief.” HIS UNLUCKY DAY, MR. FINNIGAN (om his hundredth lap) —* Bad ‘cess to th’ day! Lad ‘cess to th’ day thot I wasn’t born a shleep-walker ! LET US HAVE PEACE, FAMILY FIGHTS are the most cruel and family injuries leave scars that never fade. Let us have no fight with our English cousins in Canada or anywhere else. Let the cousins waive their claims in behalf of peace and say no more about it. A LACK OF LOGIC. WE HAVE HEARD of a man who simultaneously joined the church and stole a horse. He was charged with inconsistency, and some- body even went so far as to charge him with tautology, the miserable scamp! but what was his foolishness in comparison with that of a gold Democrat who votes a free-silver man and ticket ? WHERE IS THE REMEDY? GOVERNOR PINGREE says he has come to believe that the institu- tion most dangerous to our form of government is the newspaper. The trouble is, we suppose, that newspapers have opinions, If they were the opinions of the governor they would be safe; but for some incompre- hensible reason they refuse to agree with him. BOYCOTTING LIFE AND DEATH, THE BOYCOTT in Cleveland refuses to let a physician attend the sick child of a non-union man, and druggists are ordered not to sell him medicines, Where is this sort of thing to end? Will the dead be shut out of the cemeteries, and the clergy forbid- S| den to officiate at non-union funerals? And what if there are boycotts for some of us over there? NO MIRACLES NOW. SOMEBODY wants Grover Cleveland to run for president as the candidate of the gold Democrats, and says he would “win in a walk.”, When men make such predictions as that, against all common sense and all possibility, they advertise themselves as totally unworthy of follow- ers or of belief. Nothing they could say would become them half as much as the absence of it. A TENDER YOUNG MAN. ENERAL MILES says that Agui- naldo ought to be caught, but that he must not be kidnapped or assassinated. There is no talk of assassination and none of kidnapping: but, though the young man may have been tenderly reared, let him not be treated so gently that his safety will imperil the American army. ‘And, by the way. is he not a rebel? And didn’t he have General Luna assassinated ? A PARDONABLE OFFENSE. YT 1S UNFORTUNATE that in the lynching of several Italians in New Orleans the other day three totally inno- cent men were hanged; but in the hurry inseparable from such affairs mistakes of that kind are really unavoidable. Let the friends of the dead men reflect that inno- cent black men are often treated in the same way; so that nothing may be inferred as a result of dislike of any particular nationality. Bad ‘cess. TOLERANCE, VERY GENTLE THINGS have been said by clergymen over the ashes of Colonel Ingersoll. This of itself is evidence of the progress of the Christian religion. since there was a time when the agnostic was mentioned by the cloth almost wholly without respect. There is an added tolerance for honest opinion, whether it happens to be orthodox or not; and it is a very good argument that Ingersoll was more or less unjust in his judg- ment of the cloth. A NOTABLE EXCEPTION. LL THE REPUBLICS, according to the aged and melancholy Lon- don Spectator, have seen their best days, and their fall is merely a question of time. A republic is the best evidence we have of the ability of men to govern themselves, and what a libel upon them it is to declare that we must go back to earlier systems of government, or pethaps no systems. Perhaps, however, the Spectator doesn't mean to be so sweeping. Doubt- less it refers merely to the republic of Mr. Aguinaldo, which, to be sure, is in great danger. comicbooks.com