Judge — September 2, 1899 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OVERPRODUCTION, ‘There is an overproduction cf cotton, ‘An overproduction of corn ; ‘Too mach of everything is grown, ‘Too many people born. A surplus yield of wheat and bread, ‘Of potatoes, oats and rye. Hog and hominy, ham and eggs, And home-made pumpkin-pie. ‘Too much to eat, too much to wear, ‘And cattle on too many hills; Too many agricultural tools, ‘Too many plows and drills, There’s a surplus now of clothing Of every grade and kind: Too many books and papers. ‘Too much of thought and mind. A girl named plain Mary at her birth drop- the “'r when she grew u iss May As she began to shi way she changed the “y" to “*e,” and signed her letters Mae. About a year ago she was married, and now she has dropped the ‘‘e,” and it's just plain ‘* Ma." That's evolution. — Canajoharte Ka: ‘The Sohmer excellence of tone, durability and finish, AMiss Vassar—"* Don't you think Miss Spring- love is a charming poctess?" Uncle Solumon— “Oh, yes, a very sweet poctess; and her cous- in, Miss Chalmers, is a charming paintress, and her Aunt Lucrece is an excellent sculptress, and 10 ranks among the best for her mother used to be an excellent dishwasher- "Ves," said the rustic editor, “when my , and becarie! first subscription came in it brought tear to ig a social ! my eyes * “*Ah, I see, * said the caller; ** suc- cess after so many failures brought emotions that could not be restrained.” ‘* No, it wa'n't that, mister; it was because the first subscriber paid his bill in onions."—Cieveland News. “We've simply got enough of it,” protested the neighbors. The man who had been run- ning scales upon a trombone laughed gayly. “Then this is what you might cali the horn of Plenty he exclaimed as by sudden inspiratio Here he laughed again, although near to death, —Detroit Journal. ‘The new boy who had been placed in charge WHAT WILL WE DO WHEN COMES HOME? Well have the grandest twosday celebra the country has ever known. We'll go delirious with enthusiasm We'll “ paint the town red”; and, above all, we'll consume vast quantities of Heublein’s Club Cocktails, Why? Because they are always “just right”: because they sat- isfy the critical palate, and because the public Il have the best. Some concern has been expressed lest there be a shortage of Heublein’s Club Cocktails, owing to those two stirring events in the near future — the Columbia - Shamrock yacht - races and the Dewey celebration ; but we beg to as- sure our readers that the alarm is unfounded, as the makers, G. F. Heublein & Brother, have anticipated the demand and will have a full DEWEY of the soda-fountain hurried back to the pro- : drugstore. ** Got any big nails: Nails?" repeated his employer in surprise. ‘* What do you want to do?” “* Cus- tomer up there wants a spike in his soda,"— Ohio State Journal. ess." Harlem Life, supply of Club Cocktails in all of the various brands—Manhattan, Martini, Vermouth, Hol- land Gin, York, Tom Gin, and Whiskey — in every club, restaurant and café, and for sale by the bottle or case by every first-class dealer in the country. Too many men to do the work, ‘Too many women to weep: More daylight than the people need, Too much night for sleep, Of benedicts a surplus, An oversupply of wives; ‘Too many buds and blossoms, More bees than there are hives. Western relative" Do rey make ‘ittle toot. sey-wootsey eat with an ugly old spooney?” Boston infant—" They compel. me to receive my aliment from an objectionable implement of silver."—/ereelers’ Weekly THE BOY IN THE LIBRARY. He'll surely be a poet, for Shakepeare 's in his Learn what good whiskey is. The majority of mea who drink whiskey don’t know what they are taking Into their stomachs. You are very particular as to what you eat, but any old whiskey, as long as it tastes goo, 1s satislactory. Suppose you take the advice of “Well, here's another case of accidental shooting.” ‘00 bad! I wonder why it is that people will go on fooling with guns that More sunshine and more shadow ‘Than is needed for the dell ; An coctnedeclen'ot 5 line fome one who snakes wituey aod has 2/ reputation | they don t know are loaded.” ** Oh, they knew More coffins than will sel He’s torn three pages from ‘* Macbeth” and | Sealer what kind of a whiskey the" WW W:'is and | this one was loaded all right. It Rappened at An overproduction of ignorance, | six from ** Cymbeline.* What kind of a reputation the firm have who make it. |a French duel.”"—Chicago Times-Herald. A sight too many schools: A scholar also shall he be who learning rare ~ = = Too many poor, too many rich, shall seek ; Ani el ae mane ls, \te's turned the leaves of Homer and blotted $1,000 to $100,000 —Kaltimore American. half the Greek The Instalment Policy issued by with lamp-black, He will excel in paintin pencils, all; | He's drawn the family portraits upon the parlor | ic of rest and health in Ab- inal Angostura Bitters—at groc- There's 1 bott's, the Ori Ife'll surely take to sculpture, for there, upon If a man were as bold an! brave as his wile the floor, s he is he would be shot for a desperado | lies that w bust of Kyron that shows a nose one. . Tee tite LEI REO ne NEN TO ne ae ete men at showsan Positively Guarantees an annual income to Press your beneficiary, either for a designated number of years or for life, as may be Mas the library ‘s tumbled, my books all out of plac But dearer to h De Siegert’s Angostura Bitters. the world. renowned appetizer aad invigorator, is used mother are the roses on his over world. ware of imitations, face. i] i the world. Heware of imitat sugadie so warwsa vest. danse arranged when taking out the policy. ing Christian go to a variety anger keep: BY THIS MODERN FORM And now he’s in her arms and she is singing him to sleep. —Frank L. Stanton in Atlanta Constitution, shi Ting—" Not unless he can raise fift cents or stand in with the agnostic at the door. —Atlanta Journal. PURE, REFRESHING, . ANTISEPTIC. Kor all-round hygienic exceilence 10 cleansing agent compares with Packer's | OF LIFE INSURANCE you avoid the possible danger of unwise investment of the proceeds of your Life Insurance and assure your family of the protection which it was your ob- ject to furnish them. THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE COMPANY OF AMERICA JOHN P, DRYDEN, Presidest. Home Oftice: NEWARK, N. 3. MANHATTAN, Marini, WHISKEY. | HOLLANo Gin, Tom Gin, Vermourn, ANo York. | WAS THE STRENGTH OF GIBRALTAR ACocktait Must Be Covn To Be Goon; fo Serve In Penrect Conoition. Pour Over Crackeo Ice. (Not Sxaven) Stir | | | Taree sample m boerEnemsc led tree. ieveland, O. acceptable ideas, State if petented, THE PATENT RECORD, Baltinere, Md. par COED BEM CURE CASH “ Jove Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That's All! McKinley's wave of prosperity hasn't struck the submarine diver. His business is still go- ing down.—Philadelphia Record, Ramblers” The old timers among cyclists, whohava gone through the whole experimsnial. stage of “wheel trying” and “wheel buying.” gen- erally fecl secure and settled with Rewer: "20 YEAR OLD FAVORITES” Price $4.0 AGENCIES EVERYWHERE Lineany ie fan. No politics. We. THE CELEBRATED SOHMER HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. It is the favorite of the artists and the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers New York Warerooms, SOHMER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 220 STREET. Southwestern Limite/—Best Train for Cincinnati and St. Louis—NEW YORK CENTRAL. Goawutty & Jerreey Myo. Co. Chicago, Boston. Washington. New York, Brooklyn. Detroit. Cincinnati. Bufalo. ‘Cleveland. London, Eng, ‘THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. Baltimore Ma.