Judge — August 26, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PROBABLY. TABBY Y THE kissing-bug has come to town “ME TAILeR In numbers, as we see. ERFECT| \ Erect] It doubtless is a reiative Fer & pT, ad Of Hobson's kissing-bee. THE WORD-SAVING CHINAMAN, MAN who has struck up an ac- quaintance with a Chinese laun- dryman no longer doubts the familiar assertion that a foreigner can get along all right in a strange country with a vocabulary of one hundred words, In- deed, he is of the opinion that one may readily make himself understood with a much less number, providing he is as word-saving as this particular heathen Alter visiting the laundry several times the man remarked that the Chi- A NECESSARY ADJUNCT. ana ys greeted him by saying, “That's the wife of Penhandler, the well-known artist. OUR TOMCAT IS HAVING You see her in some of his best pictures." “Great Cxsar! you don't mean to tell me—she's his model? his visit when the rain was descending in torrents, John was equal to the occasion, As the Certainly. He's a caricaturist.” A FIT. Out of curiosity he recently timed FEMININE FANCIES. © Tt may be that to secure her rights woman may have to take the law into her own hands. She may have to use the pistol and the shiagua"—Frem fn terview with Mot. E. Cady 5 PE HAPS she may Dostrange things in this newer day But if she does, dear madam, can She load the gun without the man To tell her this and tell her that, And show her where the muzzle "sat? And does she know the difference “ewixt A gun and pistol? She'd get mixed So that she wouldn't know at all bird-shot from a musket-ball And who would pull the trigger when She sallied forth to shoot the men? And would it not, dear madam, seem Malapropos to hear her scream Just as the gun went off and shot ‘A gentleman upon the spot? How odd to hear her softly coo, “I've shot a horrid man or two” It might be, madam, if you please, At pink or other-colored teas, ‘The thing to offer some choice prize To her who'd shot a man of size; While she the booby 'd be, mayhap, Who'd only winged a little chap. Or if she met a tetider swain Who failed to make his purpose plain— A single thought between two ‘souls— She'd simply shoot him full of holes Or if a husband had forgot To do an errand he'd be shot— Forgot to send the coal or bread, His wife would pump him full of lead. And so on till the list is done— Great Caesar, ma'am! put up your gun, For we'll surrender on the spot In preference to being shot, And glad indeed to get the chance COMPARATIVELY EASY. Here! take our whiskers and our * Don't you think two can live as cheaply as one?” pants. Wo LAMPTON, Certainly—if the man’s income is over fifty thousand a year,” comicbooks.com