Judge, 1899-08-19 · page 4 of 16
Judge — August 19, 1899 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains satirical fiction and illustrations mocking patent medicines and their false advertising claims. "His Alliterative Ailment" describes a man suffering from exaggerated hypochondria, attending countless doctors before being "cured" by a fraudulent product called "Peerless Panacea." The three sequential illustrations titled "The Thrifty Mother and the Thoughtless Children" appear to satirize parenting and household economics, showing a mother managing children's behavior around food/meals. The top illustration "Judge's Favorites" and "A Terrible Vow" feature society figures in formal dress, likely satirizing high-society pretension. The satire's primary target is the patent medicine industry's deceptive marketing and consumers' gullible belief in miraculous cures—a major Progressive-era social concern when dangerous, unregulated medicines made false health claims.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
high-browed homeropaths and many other masters of the modern materia med- ica, but all, alas, failed to furnish me relief, The as- tounding altitude of their colossal charges presently made me a prey to posi= tive penury. The present held no hope. the past was packed with pangs, and the future promised only a pain - punctured, pallid pathway to the tomb, “Then, just as the awful octopus of despair was about to enfold me in its grisly grasp, a faithful friend called my attention to the peculiar properties of your Peerless Panacea. After taking one bottle, hope, so long a stranger, became my glad guest,and by the time I had taken two more bottles I could call myself cured. To-day 1am no longer a torment- ed travesty on manhood, but a hearty, healthy hu- man, engaged, in addition to my regular avocation, in singing pans of praise to the precious power of your Peerless Panacea. Gratefully yours,” Hookssiti.” reat Scott !" ejaculated the visitor, when he had tinished reading the novel docu- ment,“ That is the most remarkable Photo, by Morrison. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. AMY LEE, Amy, sparkling, effervescent the laughter of champagne, In what happy fiekl at present [s Sour summer-sweet campaign? ere’s a difference, a yawning gulf, tome, “Twint where you are, and where you are not, Amy Lee Jennie, Peacock T refused him.” Jack Gotonoxs —* JeNnte Peacocn (sobbing pose to me aga HIS ALLITERATIVE AILMENT, TAIN prominent patent-medicine manufacturer's intimate friend had dropped into the office and been invited by the proprietor to peruse the “He said he should never pro- following glowing testimonial, which had just been received : Dear doctor — | was awfully af- flicted with an astounding aggregation nizing ailments. My person was periodically pierced and penetrated by peculiar, pitiless pangs, and 1 became a peregrinating picture of pain, 1 grew so astonishingly attenuated that 1 was soon a startling spectacle of shocking and shadowy slimness — an extraordi- nary ensemble of excruciating agony and almost diaphanous anti-embon- point. “The medical fraternity stood shocked or shrank absolutely aghast before the strange symptoms and in- tricate idiosyncrasies of my merciless malady. | was attended in turn by as- tute allopaths of acknowledged acumen, 1, ** Now, boys, the one who eats the most mush and milk shall have the largest piece of huckleberry-pie.” case I ever heard of. will spread the news of the mi cure broadcast to the world through the advertising columns of the daily press?” “Erh'm! [hardly think it would be worth while,” replied the manufact- urer. “Inthe first place, he had nothi the matter with him but plain, every-day dyspepsia, despite his alarming allitera- tion and reeking redundancy; and, in the second place, he is onc of those cheerful liars whose business it is to write circus hand-bills. And, as he happens to be the genius who invented the ‘terrible bi-horned bovolipus* and heralded a tarred-and-feathered scoun- drel by the name of Jones as * the only human-chanticleer ever born in captiv- ity,’ Lam convinced that nobody would believe him on oath.” ros». soscan. 2, ** Dear me! what appeti . 8. “Mercy sakes! Don’t want any pie after all? Well, I'll put it ar me ! what appetites those children have got. nce BS pees ramet, THE THRIFTY MOTHER AND THE THOUGHTLESS CHILDREN. comicbooks.com