Judge, 1899-08-12 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 12, 1899 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several short satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"A Golden Rule"** and **"Not Their Language"** are brief wordplay jokes about cleverness and a child's confusion about goslings not understanding a hen's "dialect." **"History Reversed"** and **"A Difficult Position"** appear to reference contemporary social issues—likely relating to military enlistment (the phrase "new enlisting days" suggests wartime) and modern fashion (the "variegated shirt-fronts" suggest new, garish menswear styles). **"Pulpit Diplomacy"** satirizes a Boston minister who describes heaven as an exclusive, refined city without "slang and monosyllables"—mocking pretentious clergy who equate genteel speech with spirituality. **"Setting Even"** depicts an Irish immigrant officer asking a man for his daughter's hand, only to be reminded the officer previously arrested him for drunkenness—a comedic reversal suggesting social mobility anxieties. The remaining pieces offer light beach and fishing humor. Overall, the page targets class pretensions, immigration, and modern social changes through gentle satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
udge AT THE BEACH. == = A GOLDEN RULE, = [F YOU would be thought clever As through this world you go Let it be your endeavor To make others think they're so. NOT THEIR LANGUAGE, OROTHY was greatly surprised to learn that one of her grandfather's hens had hatched out a brood of gos- lings. “II shouldn't think they'd mind her very well,” she exclaimed slowly, * for how can they ever under= stand her dialect ?* HISTORY REVERSED. 2 e 2 HOLY SMOKE. KNOWS Lot's wife was turned to salt < % |e rey iat 4 ¢ THE AVERAGE FISHERMAN. But in these new enlisting days vy - S| WITH fishing-tackle ail complete Lots turn to salt themselves. f He stands beneath the broiling skies, -4 Then sits upon a rocky seat A DIFFICULT POSITION. tA : hod ale and eis and thes he cs . sWwHY are Fosdick and Keedick tall Ye) = a0 loudly and gesticulating 20°¥ MENDICANCY IN EXCELSIS. lently to each other?” asked Tenspot. “ Nei- : es] HAVE a wife and six children cry- ther of them is deaf.” BS © é ing for cake. “No,” replied Gazzam; “but each has % 7 * ‘on one of those new variegated shirt-fronts, Petals Le scttien "Yes, for cake and pie. I'm none of and it is necessary to raise their voices to a your common, low-down beggars.”” make themselves heard.” PULPIT DIPLOMACY. minister in Boston removed his glasses, and an ex- SADC gO : pression beatific of divine inspiration sat upon his marble . WHAT CAUGHT. HIS EVE. features. Ma. Jounson—"* Wa-al, honey, I's got de cottage all picked out. Now all we got to do “The kingdom of heaven,” he announced, “ is a beautiful is to git married an’ go right to housekeepin’.”” : ae et gaia ‘ie . Miss Jounson =" Oh, Jim! is it painted lilac, wif maroon blinds an' a large, wide 294 exclusive city, where slang. and monosyllables are un Fear il tay etodern at os Bowes pi tten ae erniiee og oan ie ttoatT™ known, and, according to the most reliable opinions, is laid Mn, JOHNSON—' I didn't notice. “But dere's six elegant big clothes-posts out in de back out on the same general plan as Boston.” yard, an’ four set-tubs in de basement, an’ galvanized-iron clothes-lines, an’ de cutest little hot- There were six hundred converts that evening. water biler yo' eber saw.” ig. sETTING EVEN, Orricer Kercax—“ Mister Rafferty, Oi love yure daughter, an’ would most respictfully ask you fer her hand in marriage.” Mar. Ravrerty—“‘Arrah, ye shnake! One year ago to-day ye arreshted me fer droonkenness an’ clubbed me all the way to the station-house, Now ye divil, Oi hov me opportunity to git aven. Ye kin hov her!" comicbooks.com