Judge, 1899-08-12 · page 5 of 16
Judge — August 12, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces: **"Geographical Punch"** is a recipe poem mocking international relations, blending nations as cocktail ingredients—France and Germany providing spirits, Sicily lemons, and the United States oranges. It reflects late-19th-century attitudes toward European powers and American identity. **"A Small Proviso"** references Tammany Hall (New York's Democratic machine), satirizing voting rights debates of the era, likely touching on Irish immigrant voting blocs ("Tammany votes"). **"A Conservative"** mocks cautious attitudes—a figure warns of danger only *after* disaster strikes, satirizing those who avoid preventive action. **"Polar Bear"** is a visual gag about an unusual meal combination. **"A Summer Etching"** describes a man's violent reaction to a green apple, likely medical commentary on stomach ailments. **"Other Resources Left"** jokes about bicycle laws and pedestrian safety—a contemporary urban concern. **"High Praise"** punches at amateur music performance, suggesting the daughter plays so poorly that Wagner (then cutting-edge classical music) sounds preferable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GEOGRAPHICAL PUNCH. W'TH cordial in the bow, * Be bold, but not too bold"; ‘Then add a pint, to give it soul, Of cognac pale and ol. Pour in now, one by one, Four flasks of fragrant Hock Whose ** bottled sunshine” shone First on some Rhenish rock. ice, Germany—to these, rd gift of thirsty ‘Tates, Add six sliced oranges For the United States, ‘Then from sweet Sicily Adu lemons to the bow! And cool its Mediterranean sea With ice from the north pole. JON PALL mOCOER. A SMALL PROVISO. ['t IS the feather-brained person, CostiGan—"* Don't ye think thot wan man’s vote is aie Wavelobacrnd te haticiees other's * . 1s sO; do—provided they both be Tammany Xiven to the making of references to the wings of thought. stanbws @ siete 3E'S WORLD'S FA/K 0. XXX, —SICILIENNE. Where breaks the blue Sicilian sea, Where long and limpid mornings shine, ‘The wind sings in the cypress-tree ‘The echo of a song divine. Where are the Greek and Saracen? ‘Aruin marks their memory Thou laughest still, sweet chil Vhere breaks the blue Sicil A CONSERVATIVE. + SWVHY did you not utter a warning ery when you saw that the stand was about to fall? “Tt did “ When? POLAR REAR (carrying seal)—* Mere, my dear, is a birthday breakfast and a seal-skin “ As soon as my suspicions were fully verified by the sacque combined.” fall of the structure, sir. A SUMMER ETCHING. ing and he’s howling ; ing grapevine twist With his stomach in his fist. Oh, his eyes are madly bulging With a wild and fiendish glare. He is snorting And cavorting Like a tiger in his lair. And he'll look again, ob, never, Never, nevermore, I ween— Never, never Wheresoever, On the apple when it’s green kx. MUNKITTRICK, OTHER RESOURCES LEFT. First wheelman—" | don't see any sense in these laws prohibiting us riding on the sidewalks.” Second wheelman-— Oh, | sup- pose they think we might run into some pedestrian and somebody get hurt.” First wheelman— Well, sup- TOHRDRAISES pose we did? | Couldn't we get dam- SwiTH—" How is your daughter progressing with her music?” ages in court ? JoNes— Fine. She's got so now that I'd just as soon listen to her playing as I would to a Wagner concert.”