Judge — August 12, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THB JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS ‘One copy, one year. or $2 numbers One copy, six meaths, or 20 number One « FOKEIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS ~Te alt Soreign countries im the postal union, $0.00 ‘a yea onal mews company, Brea 1's building, Chancery le ua de C Opera, Par aroack's mews exchange, Mains Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteeath Street, New York. larger than any ether cartoon weekly the world. © NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The both the United States and Great Britain, Inf f Juoce yment of this copy protected by copyright in ight will be promptly and DE WOLF HOPPER has won the British public and probably a few more wives. AN ANTI-IMPERIALIST is a man in love with his own voice, and what he most wants is to be noticed. SUSAN B. ANTHONY is shar- ing honors with the queen. They are calling her the grand old woman over there. RANCE. is calling Castellane Anna Gould's vassal. Perhaps it is a mild way of remarking that the lady is the head of the establish- ment. THE ATKINSONS of Boston really mustn't dress the god- dess of liberty in mourning. The color doesn’t harmonize with her complexion N ONE MONTH Helen Gould received over six hundred beg- ging letters. And yet the opponents of Mr. Bryan are claiming that this is an era of prosperity. THE FATHER of the pugilist Jeffries is holding revival meet- ings.. Perhaps it wouldn't do much good, but he might see if he couldn't revive Mr. Fitzsimmons. HEAVEN vouchsafes relief in small measure to a long-sul- fering class of humanity by dislo- cating the jaw of a woman of this town whenever she begins to scold her husband. * Heavens, no! ‘THE. EFFORT to stifle Bryanism in the Democratic party reminds one of Sara Bernhardt’s struggle to put out Vesuvius with a speech and a cup of water. THE FILIPINOS look for independence with a change in our admin: tration, do they? Well, a little matter of five or six years doesz't amount to much, of course. vee THE CRUELTY of self-denial was exemplified by Admiral Schley on the fourth of July, He refused to be kissed by three hundred girls. It seems that Mrs, Schley was present. AN AMERICAN married a Filipino woman and killed both himself and her within five days.’ Perhaps some friend of thie administration will call that a case of benevolent assimilation too: THE PROHIBITIONISTS of Boston wanted the screens of the saloons removed. so that passers-by could see men drink. It was done; and now they want the screens returned because the unobstructed attractions of the saloon are too tempting. It is plain that nothiog will make those persons happy but the most excessive of all grief. A_PREPOSTEROUS IDEA Don’t you think the country needs rain?” SOCIALISM. LTGELD INSISTS that the Democrats shall declare tor the posses- sion of all trusts and monopolies by the people When, in his opinion, ‘ought the people to begin to whack up the property of the various mullion- aires? PINGREE IS SOUND. PINGREE says he'voted for McKinley, believes in him, and will vote for him again if he is renominated. There is a great deal of eccen- tricity in this man’s nature, but the basic part of it stands like a house built on the everlasting rocks. THE HOGG INCIDENT. GOVERNOR HOGG astonished Tammany by giving it a chance to scream for the men and principles of its selection, It was an un- precedented incident, and it shows that as long as Tammany has the manly instinct it will squeak, Croker or no Croker, van Wyck or no van Wyck. SENATOR PLATT AND THE WAR ERY FEW MEN can say sharper things than Senator Platt. His his- tory of the Philippines war is a volume in a thimble, and his argument against the captious and carping traitors who daily give aid and comfort to Aguinaldo is unanswerable, thanks to the facts in the case as well as to Senator Platt. THE TYRANNY OF THE MAJORITY. SEVERAL NOISY PERSONS in Boston recently tried to as- sist a conflagration. They mounted dry-goods boxes and called out to the firemen to stop throwing water. They argued with great force that the conflagration ought to have its liberty and that the fire department was a mean tyrant. They were ar- rested, and then they wept profusely over the slaughter of free speech. LEFT-HANDED ARGU- MENT. THE FIGHT in the Philippines inspires Harper's Weekly to say that McKinley has done more harm than Bryan would have done if he had been elected. The dec- laration is not susceptible of proof; but we observe that the Weekly is careful not to say it will support Bryan next time, and it is pretty certain that no amount of money or influence will hire it to support him. WHY SHE’ IS GREAT. MBS: MARY WRIGHT SEW- ALL says the queen is the greatest. woman of the century. That is high praise; but her maj- esty is great mostly because she re- presses hersélf. is quiet and unos- tentatious notwithstanding her po- sition. and, bowing gracefully to the rule of her subordinates like an ordinary subject, lets them go on with their governing as if she herself had no existence whatever. T haven't me umbrella * A PRACTICAL TEST. THE MENNONITES in general conference in Pennsylvania decided that tobacco was sinful. The farmers of the church planted as usual. holding that if the conference was right the weed wouldn't grow. It is growing, and their pockets will therefore retain their plumpness, whatever becomes of their religious principles. Now apply that method to the cause of the prohibitionists and how long will the prohibition party survive ? A DEMOCRATIC VICTORY. HE RESIGNATION of Secretary Alger is a triumph for Democratic hoodlums. They set out to whip the president over his shoulders, and the howls they kept up finally frightened even the administration. Investigation has vindicated him, and facts show that in the emergencies of a war begun and ended in three months he showed as much executive ability as any man might have shown in his place. But what power can withstand the effect of a persistent, prolonged hoodlum-newspaper shriek, senseless and unjust as it may be? comicbooks.com