Judge, 1899-07-15 · page 5 of 16
Judge — July 15, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"When First I Spoke to Polly"** is a sentimental poem about a man who sneaks into a circus, falls in love with an acrobat performer, and later marries her. The satire mocks romantic idealization—the "thrilling" trapeze artist becomes a domestic mother "jingling household keys," reducing her from exciting performer to ordinary housewife. It's commentary on how marriage domesticates women. **"The Very Place"** jokes about burglars discussing a house with a new burglar alarm. The humor relies on the irony that an alarm indicates valuable possessions worth stealing—the wealthy inadvertently advertise their worth through security measures. **"A Crossing Accident"** depicts a hospital casualty ward where a man with injuries claims he was hit by an "automobile" rather than admitting something more embarrassing (possibly a bicycle or fall). The joke plays on the then-novel status of automobiles as fashionable explanations for accidents—more socially acceptable than mundane causes. The references to "Dago" (derogatory Spanish term) and Cuba/Chile reflect period attitudes during the Spanish-American War era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHEN FIRST | SPOKE TO POLLY. j THE place I first saw Polly Was in a circus-ring ; ‘The gayest part of all the show Was her acrobatic swinj T'd seen her on the poster-bills; That's why T wandered in, Forgetting, ‘mid the crush and glare, ‘That T hadn't any tin, As she swung in the high trapeze With india-rubber ease, Without any ticket I slipped through the wicket, While other chaps paid their fees. As she swung in the high trapeze She seemed every heart to seize : For her glance and her poise They just took with the boys As she swung in the high trapeze. When first I spoke to Polly And told her of my love ‘The animals were all around, The circus-tent above. ‘The baboon nudged the kangaroo, Who answered with a wink ; The porcupine got quite stuck up, And the elephant called for drink. She has swung from the high trapeze, And smiles where she used to tease. Now the cradle she swings And a lullaby sings Just one little tot to please, She has swung from the high trapeze ‘To jingle my household keys: And the glance and the poise aTAN ws That so took with the boys PAP SANTIACO In our cottage are "* quite the cheese.” : a acres, JUDGE'S WORLD'S FA/R. No, Xxvi— seSortTa SANTIAGO. THE VERY PLACE. {isi Cuba? is Chile? sviet's forget the cruel war, é Never mind, since both are Dago, ile we whang a sentimental Se THERE'S no use goin’ to that ‘Rad since neither one 1s chilly. Duty on yout gay gure. house.” said the young burg- lar to the old one,“ The people have just put in a burglar-alarm.” “That's the very reason we ought to go,” replied the other. “It shows they've got somethin’ worth goin’ for.” CASUAL WARD, Wf HL, HE FORGOT. * Do you recollect that old story of Stockton’s about the lady or the tiger?" Jest tell ‘em I'm laid up here at the hosspittle, owin’ tew havin’ a bile on my neck.” e partly. Which of ‘em was RK (surprised —"A bile?” ¥ Ais it that done him up?’ Mr. Hevaune —* Ya.as; tell ‘em one o' them air newefangled automobiles wuz on it. comicbooks.com