Judge, 1899-05-13 · page 8 of 18
Judge — May 13, 1899 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces: **"Something Up"** jokes about Irish working-class characters (the Finnegans) suspecting a young man's romantic intentions based on financial desperation—he's pawning his overcoat to afford flowers. **"Send Missionaries Before Troops"** satirizes British imperial conquest, with an English speaker noting the "defect" that colonial subjects must be "civilized" through Christianity before military subjugation, which delays profitable conquest. **"The Hope of Populism"** mocks American Populists discussing the Philippines (recently colonized after the Spanish-American War), suggesting they naively believe silver coinage and debt relief will solve the Filipinos' problems—missing actual issues of poverty and oppression. The remaining pieces are brief gag cartoons: a widow regretting not committing murder when young, a woman's encounter with a rhinoceros, and a Native American child using a pale woman's dress as a papoose carrier. The overall tone is cynical about American imperialism, working-class struggles, and political naiveté.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOMETHING Ur. Mas. FINNeGAN—" Young Clancy sint Mary Ann a fivedollar bouquet lasht noight. I tink there's something up.” Mk. FINNEGAN —" So do [I saw him coming out av a pawn-shop yesterday, au’ I ink it's his overcoat.” SEND MISSIONARIES BEFORE TROOPS THE HOPE OF POPULISM, Se THERE is just one defect.” said the Englishman, “in our methods of conquest. OF course all our conquests are made in the inter- ests of civilization and First populist — \ read that the natives of the Philippines have been ground down in a fearful state of poverty and oppression for centuries by the Spanish. They're fearfully in debt, and 1 tell you I'm stron favor of their annexa- tion to the United States.” ‘econd populist — “Soam I. They ought to take to the free coin- age of silver like a duck to water.” Christianity, and the scheme is absolutely perfect but for one thing.” “What's that?” inquired the interested American. Well, the exi- yencies of the case usually demand the dispatch of the barba- , rians before their con- . ‘ iis SAFE THEN. version,” N : ji ; vt Minister — My SSS We poor woman, you must A SAD TRAV- AN y ayaa Fi be fall regret for the ; awful crime you com- ESTY. ; mitted.” Jaggles—"l Condemned mur- seems strange that deress—"Yes. Ishould Suburbs wasn’t able have done it twenty to save anything whe rs ago, when I was his place caught fir young and beautiful.” Waggles—" Why, man, his Queen Anne age was destroyed as quickly as if it had been a fire-proof man- +e EW!" Mar- gie exclaim- the hail, Mas. Ticer—" What's the matter, my dear--have you had an accident?" sion.” Mk. Tickr—" The rhinoceros and I had words—and I came out at the wrong end of the horn.” A HANDY JUVENILE CARRY-ALL. cape SVAN Miawaria—" Ugh! No want pale-face squaw's scalp—wantm —__Wayght Pale-face squaw's mantle big medicine papoose-hammock.” comicbooks.com