Judge — April 22, 1899 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE SPOKE TOO LATE, * BoaRDING-Nousk. IsTRESS (discussing Eagan)—"* Well, that’s the end of the embalmed beef, any way.” NEW WOARDER (slightly deaf )—" No more, ma'am? | was just going to ask for another plate.” HIS OPINION, THE WAY HE SAW IT. ++] T'S all right to be as savin’ as you conveniently can when you are ILLIE was poring over his school-books. studying his morrow’s les- courtin’,” said a certain Pettyville swain in conversation with an- sons. Apparently he was struggling with the mysteries of grammar. other, and referring to a third; “but, ‘cordin’ to my way of thinkin’, Jake for, looking up. he asked of his sister,“ What's an abstract noun, Ida?" Broadhead is a little bit . Ida couldn't remem- t00 economical in his treat ber the definition, “An ment of Daisy Flitters in abstract_ noun, Willie. givin’ her a brass engage- —h'm—well, an_ abstract ment-ring instead of a noun is the name of some- gold one, accompanied by thing you can't see.” she the ‘jolly’ that it was hazarded in explanation. made from a cannon capt- Willie knit his brows ip ured from the Spaniards a moment; then his face at Sandyague. Economy brightened and he seemed is honorable, but that to grasp the idea. “Oh. looks to me a whole lot yes: I know now, sis,” he 4 ¢ y ° eS NT . “ . sentimental swin- } LZ ; > yi said, “Isn't “microbe” an S\ abstract noun? HIS PRACTICAL ; * / ft), A PHENOMENON. HELPMATE. .. : g Biggs —" Thompson seems to be awfully proud of that boy of his.” Boges—" He has a right to be. The boy is Poet — Aclast [have sold a poem.” Wife—V'm so glad to hear it, love. The spring days are growing ewe aie ieee SM, two years old and hasn't warm, and now you will be Joccinc Jim—'' ‘Ello, Slumppy' Wot’s de matter wid yer face an’ han's—got de hives ?” made. a‘single bright ‘te able to afford a hair-cut.” Stumpry—" No: I got de bees.” mark yet A YARD OF PAN(T)SIES.—(With apologies to the Ladies’ Home Companion ) comicbooks.com