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The reputation that a man had of being un- kind to his first wife never prevented a second wife from marrying him. She argues that prob- ably the first wife had a temper and “tried him, but that she is such a sweet thing that he will be a changed man to her.—Arkansaw Thomas Cat. New life in the spring—Take it on by taking Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters—all druggists. “When you say, sir, that I loitered on m way back from the post-office,” remarked the new boy, ** yc lie in every hair of your head, “Wh. what ! that?’ Ids vealer. COOK'S EXTRA CHAMPAGNE IMPERIAL DRY. The heathen who is speaking as our story opens wears a white fedora and a skirt of p.im-leaves; whether by accident, or in the fuil consciousness that a high hat never goes with a business suit, we know not.‘ Think of the millions,” he exclaims, “that are spent to send missionaries to us ! ‘he other heathen is visibly affected.“ It makes me feel guilty,” faiters the latter. ‘* Really, | suppose we ought to get along with refrigerated beef during the bard times, at least."— Detroit Journal, CYCLOMETER 0” your wheel. EYCLUMETER Tt isas usefulas your watch. One measures distance, the other time—both are essential factors of ev= lery business or pleasure trip. To every Jeselist the Veeder Cyclometer Is a necessity. merit has elim- ted competition Os of hn gclometers are VeederCyclometers Modeletudies for painters and roared the proprietor; then he harshly added, **See here, young fellow; do you know what to expect for a little remark like * Certainly | do,” said the unabashed * I know just what to expect—suspension {com work for six years on full pay.” And the proprietor was so tickled with the boy that he cidn’t carry out the sentence. —Cleveland Plain * How did this happen?" asked the surgeon as he dressed the wound in the cheek and ap- plied a soothing poultice to the damaged eye, *Got hit with a stone,” replied the patient. Who threw it?" “* My—my wife,” was the reluctant answer. “* Hum! It's the first time I've heard of a woman hitting anything she aimed at,” muttered the surgeon. *She was throwing at the neighbor's chickens,” explained the sufferer. ‘I was behind her.""—Zondon Tid- Bits. Dr. Ball's Cough Syrup will cure throat y | and lung trouble without fail, For gnppe, influenza and a deep-seated cough or cold it 1s the best temedy ‘| oflered to the public. ‘The doses are small, and a bot tle costs only #5 cents, ‘The young woman seemed to feel an impulse to turn her head, and she yielded to it. Im- mediately behind her. in the hurrying crowd, she saw a man whose glittering eyes were fixed with a maniacal glare upon the glossy braid of hair that hung down her back. “So, sir,” she said with a self-possession rare in one so imma. ture, “you are watching for a chance to cut and run, are you?” For a moment longer he gazed at the shining braid, and then he turned away, ‘*'Tis false!" he muttered. And be vanished in the crowd —Chicago Tribune, “IT don't see,” said Aguinaldo’s confidential adviser, “what you want to fight the United States for." “1 don't want to fight.” ** But you talk as if you do.” Tt gets me into trouble constantly, this bold and defi- ant demeanor of mine. You see, I was edu- cated in Spanish and I can't get rid of some of those idioms."— Washington Star, ** How often do you want to be told not to do that, Bobbie?” asked his mother. ‘No times, mamma,” replied the boy solemoly.— Philadelphia North American, No well-regulated household should be with- out Dr. J. G. B. Siegert & Son's Angostura Bitters, unequaled as an appetizer, New York society gave a party the other night at which the participants wore their clothes wrong-side out. Such things may be seen on the stage almost any evening, except that on the stage the inside clothes are worn on | the outside, —Rechester Sunday Herald, We commend Hommel’s ** 1892" Brandy, advertised in JupGe. It is unapproached in LOS ANGELES AND THE PACIPIC COAST AND RETURN. Special excursion from points in Pennsyl- vania, Maryland, District of Columbia, Vir- ginia, West Virginia, Ohio, New York, and New Jersey, on the occasion of the National Educational Association meeting at Los Ange- les, California, in July, 1899, at reduced rates. For full particulars address William Kelly. general eastern passenger agent, C., M. and St. P, R’y, 381 Broadway, New York. “A Sound Body for a Sound Mind.” D.L.DOWD'S HEALTH EXERCISER, Complete, reduced to $3.50. 202-page Beck Seat Pree With Every Créer. All the advantages of an entire gymnasium, for old and young of both sexes. Takes only six Inches floor space. indorsed by 100,000 Physicians. Illustrated Circular - 40 Engravings - Free. Mere wealth won't make a man—ah, no. As we so oft have said, Some chaps who have a lot of Might be much better bred, —L. A.W. Bulletin, dough” ] be} H Why Not Smoke a Pipe? One ” clgar costs more than 20 pipefuls of ale Mixture A Centlemais Smoke the standard hi; hegrade pipe tobacco. To make the change from cigars to VALE MixTURE will cut the cost of smokin; to ten cents on the dollar o} your daily cigar expense. satisfying economy! PHOTOS FROM LIFE. scgiptara teal arate. tad ‘oom beantifal collection’ Price tat with 10 efotatares 24 Reablnetatze photos. 81 note or stamps. 8. RECK: NAGEL, Nachfolxer, Munich, 1. Briefach, Germany. ILSON'S ARS ANOCUFFS THE CELEBRATED SOHMER HEADS THELIST . or THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. It is the favorite of the artists and the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers New York Warerooms, SOHMER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 220 STREET. excellence. Don’t confound this with other “HAVE YOU BEEN OVER THE LOOP?”} asked of every tourts bbe made pleasant toad. one day. it comprehends the most sublime and beaut fo mountain scenery, the route being through beautif You should by all means go through pleturesque Platte Ca bo grander scenery {a the worl ter Please write, loclosiog two-cent stam} T. E. FISHER, General Passenger Agent, “THE COLORADO ROAD"’ (Colorado and Southern Railway), Denver, Col. wap whitch there 8.—Send § cents tn postage for a beautifully-colored P. Loop Button, jaroiog from ‘attractive trip is via “The Colorado Sea convenientiy ‘acdition to the Loop Up, m Denver to Leadvilie, Ee! OORLOG 9219920, Exercisers. The D. L. DOWD is the ploneer; always sold for $5. Scientific Physical and ... + Vocal Culture Taught. D. L. DOWD, ‘ul /@ 9 East 14th Street, New York. aw. Every American interested. In the game of Oorlog ten battieahipe can force the harbor against tour, Dine ? $1000 tn prizes will be paid for the best eal of thts battle problem, ae follows: First tae, $330; second, prize, $1000; third prize, #500: fourth prizes ten), tules of competttion ‘will be ‘sent on'appiication. Address ‘THE OORLOD CO.,P. 0. Bex 1896, Hew York City. great at Om CENTY BICYCLE @ SB ORIVING HEab.icHTS RY AE) 9 * wat A better Cocktail at home than Is served over any bar in the World, HE CLUB= _ ~~ COCKTAILS MANHATTAN, MARTINI, WHISKEY, HOLLAND GIN, TOM GIN, VERMOUTH and YORE, ‘We guarantee these Cocktails to be made, of absolutely pareand well matared liquors, and the mixing equal to the best cocktails verved over any barin the world. Being ‘compounded In accurate proportions, they will always be found of uniform quality. Connolmeurs agree that of two cocktails made of the same material and propor- S ‘ulons the one which ts aged must be the \ better. ‘Try our YORK Cocktail made without any sweetening—<dry and delicious, For Sale on the Dining and Baffet Care of the principal railroads of the U. 8. AVOID IMITATIONS. For Sale by all Droggists and Dealers, G, F, HEUBLEIN & BRO,, Sole Props., 39 Broaaway, N. Y., Hartford, Conn. 20 Piccadilly, W. London, Eng. Whiskey that is Comforting Sold at all First-Class Cafes and Jobbers. A Pure Stimulant Hunter Baltimore Rye TRADE MARK WM. LANAMAN & SON, Baltimore, Md, comicbooks.com