Judge — March 18, 1899 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A STORY OF LENT. HAT men are less pious than women Is what we have frequently heard ; But that most unjust accusation We now can refute in a word, ‘The days penitentiA! are with us, When pious behavior holds s\ ‘And Mabel goes forth every morning With saintly demeanor to pray. ‘Though she stays on her knees with devotion. In forty short days it is o'er; While her lover has been on his uppers For over a twelvemonth or more. Mc LANDEURGH WILSON AN OLD ADAGE ENFORCED. Dombey—* How did you get that scar on your forehead, Jones?" ; Jones—" Ob, my wife and | had an argument and she obeyed that mean old adage—stnike while the ifon is hot.” A VALUABLE PRECEDENT. Tom—* Why were you so determined to kiss that homely cousin of yours? Dick—"\ wanted to establish a precedent. She has two very pretty sisters, you know.” WHERE AN OLD-TIME POET OF “BEAUTIFUL SNOW” GOT HIS INSPIRATION. A RURAL RECOURSE. +s YOU say,” remarked the coffee drummer, “ that you have frequently known it to go as low as fifty and sixty below zero in this place ?” “Yes, sir,” replied one of the oldest inhabitants of Basswood cor- ners; “I've known the temperature right here to git twenty degrees below the lowest figures on any thermometer in town.” “You have? How could you tell how low the mercury would go in such cases?” “Well, mister, we let the blamed thing go as low as it would, and then jest turned the thermometer upside-down to give it a chance to go lower.” HOW HE DID IT. MAD! doll leek to-day,” PERSUASIVENESS. i i I Su EEE ee Me way “1 know dose shoes is a leetle beeg but you vant dose shoes. I tell you vat ‘| With M: iy ny dit Ido, mein frendt—I t'row in dig pair heafy sox und say no more aboud id. Dat sre taceende) vill make ‘em fit.” When Tommy asked him. how and when — ‘That he had done as much as men IRISH LOGIC. 4 i Ile simply said ‘‘T greased it.” [ F EVERY day were Saturday They'd every day my wages pay; If every day were Sunday, though, Each day a holiday we'd know, ‘And then we'd have our fun galore On money paid the day before. RATHER HARD ON DR. B. GREAT specialist had been called in con- sultation by Dr. B., a clever and skillful physician, but without the years of experience that made Dr. T. the idol of the countryside. As the two doctors bent over the patient, a lad of twenty, his eyes opened and a gleam of fun lighted in them. “Tam so glad you could come, Dr. T.,” he whispered. You can't do anything for me—lI'm dying; but if you hadn't come the folks would have thought all the rest of their lives that I died with no one here but Dr. B.”” $+ BE THERE noggets up in Klondike?” SOWING! ON/STONYAGROUND! Persie moved lhe trateh, Oj Conceaee ce: —'* You must remember, my son, that ‘ cleanliness is next to godliness.’ " I should say there be a plenty; ‘Yes; an’ I s'pose dat’s why you'll make me go ter Sunda} 1 after you git through wid dis You can go and take your pick.” ~ comicbooks.com—