Judge — March 11, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T+ THE ONLY REASON, Hojack— “Why. should some of our war- ships be named Yale and Har- vard and not one be named Vas- sar?” Tomdik— “Because there are no women- of-war, I sup- WOULDN'T GET THEM UP. CORRECT. Burctar BILL Hands up!" FAakMer JimLeT—" No, sir; my hands don't git up till four o'clock, Teacher (in an’ it ain't more'n two nao human - nature class) —** What do we infer when we hear a number of people talking of a man’s bad qualities ? Bright pupil—"‘That some other people have been talking of his good qualities, sir.” CUSTOMARY WITH THEM TOO. Mosenneim—"'I say, Sophie; do you know dat de Esquimaux’s kiss is performed py rubbing deir noses?” Mrs, Mosennigim—" Vell, dat’s der only vay ve gan kiss; ain’d id?" LIQUID AIR. “With liquid air you can produce a temperature of two thousand degrees below — {If Sero and freeze whisky into saul scales” s Scientific item IF SUCH results can truly be No end of wonders we shall see. Choice whisky pellets will be sure The dreaded annual grip to cure. With boxed-up "' rickeys" in your vest, Or even a cocktail so compressed, You can sufficiently defy The weather's fitful mercury. ‘Tis well, no doubt, to end the term ‘And sway of every poison germ; f wwe ¥ Bot where's the law that will not fait VOLS To hold in check the whisky scale? * The Boston girl, though young or old, Is even now surpassing cold. What she will be, who can declare, Should she appeal to liquid air? The lover with his artless plea Might not at first her ally see, Bat very soon would turn about A DISHONOR And find that he was frozen out. Mrs. Rve.y — **See here, Moike - JORL RENTON, seein’ shnakes on Saint Pathrick’s day.’ let up on yure drinkin’. STANWWE WBeswetierres No. vin. HJALMA OF NORWAY, Q come down, Hjalma, please! From midair, where at e You stand, onl Nansen sh ‘At heaven's doorw: Long before night Is, Day peeps at you, for fun, And that’s thes: midnight sua We see in Norway. HIS SARCASM. . ‘KHL sardonically chuckled old Grum in the midst of BL. his perusal of the village newspaper. “The editor of ihe Plaindealer is a sarcastic chap. He prints the marriages right over the death-notices. “ What point do you make out of that asked his wife. “ Why, he probably does it to prove that the fools are not all dead yet.” TO THE SNAKE-BANISHER. Oi'd be mortyfied to death to hov yez give evidince av comicbooks.com