Judge — February 18, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PARSON JOHNSON’S LAMENT. [ MET 2 cunning tittle gal To-day upon de street. She was a perfec’ picture From her head down to her feet. I spoke to her in accents mild, “What am your name, my charming child ?* She looked me in de eye and say, “* Mistah Johnson, don't get gay!” I married a loving couple At eight o'clock las’ night, ‘And when I spoke de final words Dat spliced ‘em fast and tight I started for to kiss de bride; But, snuggling to her husband’s side, She looked me in de eye and say, * Mistah Johnson, don’t get gay!” ** Mistah Johnson, don't get gay"— T bears it everywhere ; It's epidemic like de gri And secms to fill de air. And when I gets to heaven And a harp I tries to play, I ‘spec’s some cherubim will shout, ** Johnson, don’t get gay!" AT THE MUSICALE. Dash—" Won't you think Miss Sweetly sings with a great deal of feeling to-night?” Smash— Ves: she must be feeling pretty bad.” THE DIFFERENCE. corge Washington was a man who never told a lie. ‘Tracner—" Wrong. Go to the foot.” SMALL GIxL—" George Washington was the man who never told a lie." Teacher—" Right. Go to the head.” A SCHOOL-DAY VALENTINE. A FROSTY DAY IN THE KLONDIKE. 1. Frosty Ike—" Boys, hyur's a couple o' pegs If we had some quoits we could hev a game, FELLOW-SUFFERERS. *sQHAKE!" said the Arkan- sas man to the man from Indiana, at the same time ex- tending his hand. “How did you know I had the ague?" asked the latter as he shook. THE UNDERTAKER'’S VALENTINES, AS NOTHING ean be quite so fair As turn and turn about, We find he gets from everywhere The ones that lay him out. WHAT DID HE MEAN? Jenkins—* How do you like Miss Doneup?” Hawkins—* Oh, she’s not THE little country school-house still stands beside the lane, With pictures chalked upon the door and many a broken pane; But ‘mong the lassies and the lads I nowhere now can see A certain little girl and boy who once were known to me, Although I seem to hear him say, with head bent close to mine, *T love you ‘most a bushel, Kit—and I'm your valentine,” Full many a year has passed since then, and at my side to-day The children of the man 4 1ove with merry frolic stray ; Yet as the veil of time is rent by memory’s magic touch, I fancy by the school-house steps a boy I met so much, And hear him whisper softly, his dark curls touching mine, “I love you ‘most a bushel, Kit—and I'm your valentine.” sary CLARKE MUNTINGTON. BREAKING THEIR FALLS. Citizen—" Don't you fellows ever get hurt when you drop from bridges upon moving freight-trains?” Weary—" Seldom, sir. By practice we gits a good eye fer measurin’ distance, an’ most allus manage ter fall on de brakesman.”” 3. KLonpIke DAve—" Who'd ‘a thought it wor cold enuff ter freeze smoke, b'gosh !" 2, SKAGWAY PetTez—"'Oh, that's dead easy, I ain't as bad as she is painted.” learned ter make smoke-rings fer nothin’,’ comicbooks.com