Judge — January 21, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LEFT-HANDED COM- PLIMENT. HE WAS 2 protibitionist, ‘And so with humor grim His enemies collected funds And made a bust of him, TRULY ORTHODOX, Mary—* Stop, John! I must mend your glove before we go to church.” John —" Bother the glove, my dear. Let 's remember the sabbath-day and keep it holy.” THE DIFFERENCE. Davcnter—" Oh, yes; his family must be an old one, for he got a commission as major- general in the last war without any trouble at all.” Morner—" That signifies little, Louise, It takes three generations to make a gentleman, but it takes only two generations to make a major-general, you know.” AN EASTERN FABLE. IN THE Wood of Penitence, consecrated to the great Gautama, lived a hermit called Mahdtapas. One day he found a young rat trying to escape from the talons of a hawk, and being of a compassionate nature he took the rat and fed it with grains of rice. Before long, however, it was discovered by a cat, who was about to devour it when the rat took refuge in the hermyjt’s lap. ‘Then the hermit said, “ Rat, be thou a cat.” And it became a cat. : Upon seeing a dog the cat fled. Then said the hermit, “ Poor cat! thou hast fear of "A MORNING RAISE. dogs? Be thou also a dog.” And it became a dog. +" Did yon get a ralee this year?" But the dog feared tigers; so the hermit, for its protection, transformed the dog into “Ves; the boss gave me that alarm.clock..” a tiger. Still Ma- hatapas regarded the tiger as a rat, and all those who saw the hermit and the tiger said, was this hermit who metamorphosed the rat into the tiger.” Upon hearing these remarks the tiger thought, “ While Mahatapas lives the history of my mean origin will never be forgot- ten.” Thereupon he charged at Mahi- Then the her- narrow cell with all that flesh on you. Here's a bottle of anti-fat_ mit said, “ Become thar will give you relief, T think.” thou a rat.” And the tiger became a rat again, KATIONINE GROS]EAN. 1. “You poor man! you must be awfully uncomfortable in that UNDER COVER. Parson Primrose —* Did you koow your mother was looking for you?” Freddie —“You bet! That's why she can’t find me.” NOT FAR AMISS. +s A HEADACHE,” says Bennie Bunton, “is jus’ a stomach - ache in the 8. ——I'm de livin’ skillikin, an’ dis is de stuff w'ot did it. — eae. 4. —TI'll jes’ step out uv dese here bars an’ s‘prise de old lady.” THE EFFECT OF ANTI-FAT. comicbooks.com