Judge — January 21, 1899 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E\\ STE FOR MUSIC. “Say, Jim, w’ot’s der matter wid de billy-goat 7” ey “* He's bin an’ swollered a music-box, an’ I kin hear it a-playin’ * Dere’s a hot time’ in his stummick. THE KOHACK PHILOSOPHER. S*PJON'T trust too much to your imagination, Enoch,” said the sage of Kohack, addressing his nephew in an admonitory tone, “ or else you will be liable to be painfully disillusioned when you are least ex- pecting it. “An active imagination is a good servant, but a bad master, When exercised in moderation it is a pleasant possession, but when it is permitted to usurp the place of common sense it is an enemy to its owner. At its best it smooths over many of the rough places in life. It brings up the past in pleasant retrospection ; it softens the present and paints the future with the rosy hues of hope; it blinds the husband to the fading of the bloom from the dear wife's cheeks; it keeps the wife from dis- covering that the husband is of the same clay as other husbands; it makes the home brighter and the world more tolerable, In short, it is the pie of life; but you know, Enoch, that too much pie will produce dyspepsia. “A person who is the slave of his imagina- tion would be guilty of painting his dear, dead friend as an angel with side-whiskers. Many a man imagines himself the whole thing. when in reality he is very small potatoes and a pitiful pau- native girl who thought to reform a bow-legged man by marrying him, and all of her subsequent remarks on the subject began with ‘Alas! It is proper for you to think that your sweetheart is better than you are, but don’t let your imagination convince you that she is a peri — no peri that I ever had the pleasure of meeting wore a shirt-waist and chewed gum. * Don't get to morbidly imagining that you are misunderstood by your fellow-men, or, when you wot not, a gimlet-eyed gentleman will demonstrate that he thoroughly understands you by selling you a luscious-looking but entirely malnutritious gold- brick. If you listen to your imagination you will think that a bumblebee’s stinger is fourteen feet long, but your every-day knowledge tells you it isn’t. Don’t imagine that all that glitters is gold; some- times it is a diamond, again it is the patch on the caboose of a lazy man’s trousers. “ “ And lastly, Enoch, never imagine that you are finer or swifter or smarter than the average run of men. Notice the college graduate; behold how he thinks the same thing, and, lo! as it were, some un- educated Philistine with a simple twist of the wrist turns him wrong side ‘out and exposes his emptiness “DONE” A GOOD THING. to the unsympathetic world, and, robbing him of his Well, I've already done one good thing this year.” egotism, proves that it is possible to take the greater iewiot imagie "How's that ?” i ins."" city of ‘em to the hill. I once knew an imagi- ‘Hows that? | from the less and almost nothing remains. *e: Lt WORTH LOOKING INTO. ~ Mrs. SPEAKERMIND —'* Only think! Thompson's wife has left him and gone home to her mother's.” Mr. Speakerminp —* Hum—wonder how he worked it?” comicbooks.com