Judge — January 14, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| \ PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AF THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. OMTTED STATES AND CANADA TH ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers $5.00 we copy, six montha, or a6 numbers - *x0 One copy, for thirteen weeks - = = 1.25 Teciuding the Cusisraas Juocs. Ecnorsan satesacexts—/nternational mews com) E.C., London; Brentana’s, avenue del Opera, Part 7, Breann's building. Chancery lane, Germany. ‘ rbach's mews exchange, Mains, Corser Fitth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. -Circulai larger tham any other cartoon werkly in the world. F7- NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of [voce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Fitzy UGH LEE goes back to Havana like the prodigious son. R. BRYAN celebrates his liberty with his lungs and that is the great- est expansion yet. WHEN JERRY SIMPSON says he is still in politics he probably means that he has merely mislaid his voice. WILLIAM BLACK had no know!- edge of the day of his birth, and yet it was doubtless the most important event of his life, . sTHE CORONER,” says the Chi- cago Times-Herald, “should follow the dodo.” Really, isn’t it too late to hold an inquest on him? eae ‘THE QUESTION whether the bicy- cle is immoral has arisen again. Much immorality comes from living in houses. Why not abolish houses? eee “THERE IS ONE excellent thing about the populists. Whenever they meet in convention they do.their utmost to quarrel one another to death. cee | AM READY to hold this posi- tion against the whole world,” says Admiral Dewey. So also of Will- iam McKinley and the people of the United States. ‘THE MENTION by the New York Journal of Mr. Depew as an er- rand-boy for the Vanderbiks is an ¢ affront to every man doing service on _%° home ter go ter?” the Vanderbilt roads. BEFORE FRANCE accepts the universal-peace proposition she begs the privilege of being whipped by Germany in an effort to repossess herself of Alsace-Lorraine. a A NEW-YORKER found a woman under his hed the other night. She was a burglar, but a woman; and since then thousands of men have made that search and gone to bed weeping with disappointment. eee SO YVHAT ARE the afterwhiles?” asks James Whitcomb Riley. One of them, J. W., is the feeling that induced Eugene Field to write the verses about the clinking of ice in the glass in the early morning. PAIN pit Columbus in chains, and recently in Granada, Spain, a mob of women stoned his statue. These women ought to go further back for the cause of their misfortunes. Let them put up an effigy of Adam and stone that. 4 THE EMPRESS DOWAGER of China recently received the wives of foreign ambassadors and ministers, for the first time in Chinese his- tory, and out of respect for the customs of her visitors omitted to paint her face. It was a curious mix, for we dare say the ladies had painted their faces out of respect for their customs and that of the empress dowager. EVEN WORSE BrGcar (pathetically)—"Ah, mister. w'ot kin be worse dan havin’ FAIR PLAY. A JUSTICE who got off his bench and pounded a wife-beater half to death is commended by the Elmira Gazette and other newspapers. But let us be fair. Let us elect a few viragoes to the bench, that they may pound the large, ugly wives who beat their husbands. A NEW DANGER. ALE WENT WILD the other night because of a victory by her picked debaters over the picked debaters of Princeton. Is it not to be feared that the study and labor necessary to such contests will unfit the boys for the more legitimate struggles at the oar and in the field ? THE OLD REMEDY. A LAWYER in New Orleans whipped another lawyer in court. and now refuses on moral grounds to fight a duel because of it. How is his victim to get satisfaction? Of course, if the victim surreptitiously shoots him the law will hang him. He has really no remedy but to go off some- where and swear at both the court and the bar. HE HURT SPAIN’S FEELINGS. THE PRESIDENT could not very well have reviewed the late war and its various causes without a reference to the Maine. But he knew’ that Spanish dignity was extremely sensitive and would be greatly offended by such a reference, and indeed by any reference to the war, and therefore he should not have written of the war at all—or of anything else. A SHOT IN MEXICO. WHEN MAXIMILIAN was shot in Mexico his brother, Francis «Joseph of Austria, probably reflected that minding your own business was both safe and wise, and doubtless this has had much to do with the successes which were celebrated in his golden jubilee. The shot that put away the young man was one of the few that go all round the world. THE LONG ROAD TO JUSTICE. McKINLEY in his first speech at Atlanta spoke affectionately of the confederate dead; and after the speech an ex-mayor of the town said, “The president can make almost any number of negro appointments and nobody will object.” Perhaps here is a solution of the race problem; and the words are appropriate, “ He moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.” RETRIBUTION, HE FRENCH REPUBLIC main- tains itself in a state of continual fright, and the monarchy could be re- Crrizen (unsteadily) —"* Nozzin’, my friend (hic); nozzin'—‘cept _ ¢Stablished only through a bloody revo- havin’ a home that you've (hic) gof to go to.” lution, This is a situation between the devil and the deep-sea, and it comes through an injustice to one man at the cruelty of which the whole world is shocked. Neither governments nor ordinary men can afford to’be unjust, and the larger the authority to that end the larger the penalty. A SPANISH DONNYBROOK. ‘THE SPANIARDS and Cubans in Havana get up riots and kill each other, and then quarrel at the funerals of the victims and kill more. They had riots about the Garcia obsequies in Washington; but no Span- iard or Cuban is too small or too far away for a funeral, and their fun and bloodshed are as continuous and enjoyable as any number of Irish wakes. What if our congress had recognized the Cuban republic and thereby * given these combatants the right to fight out their differences in their own way? EXPANSION. CLEVELAND AND BRYAN occupy the non-expansion platform, along with many Democrats and all the mugwumps. It is quite logical. They opposed the war, and they don’t want the country to profit from it. To show that the war was a blunder they would have the Amer- ican people pay the entire cost of it out of their own pockets and set the Spaniards back in the places they abused. Cleveland proposed to restore the queen of the Sandwich islands to her throne, and why should poor Spain be treated less tenderly? comicbooks.com