Judge, 1898-12-24 · page 16 of 30
Judge — December 24, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous anecdotes satirizing everyday middle-class life around the Christmas holiday: **"Hard on the Father"** mocks an exasperated parent pestered by his son Johnny with absurd philosophical questions—until the boy asks something unexpectedly simple, showing adults' tendency to overcomplicate things. **"A Problem for Her"** jokes about the economic squeeze of Christmas shopping: a wife proudly claims arithmetic expertise but cannot solve the impossible math of buying $95 worth of gifts with only $15 cash and no credit—a jab at holiday consumerism and household finances. **"Weightier Reasons"** features working-class boys debating why Christmas timing in winter is actually advantageous (for sleds and skates), with Tommy humorously pointing out it's even better because bare feet in summer need no stockings—simple logic that undercuts assumptions. "The Tree of Life" illustration depicts a figure amid fantastical growth, likely symbolic commentary on prosperity or growth. The satire targets universal human foibles rather than specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ HOPE.” HARD ON THE FATHER. Johnny—" Say, pa?” Mr. Pebblewacker—" Ob, don’t bother me. I can’t answer your foolish questions. I don’t know why the people of the polar regions are not called polocks, nor whether a man on the under side of the earth would have to begin at the top in building a church-steeple, nor why a man when he loses his breath doesn’t have to go to the place where he lost it in order to find it. not tell you why cities always happen to be where there aze the most people, nor why night never comes until the street-lights are lighted, nor "— Johnny—" Oh, it’s nothing of that kind. I was just going to ask if you didn’t think it would go kind of hard ona fellow if two Christmases should happen to come on the same day.” A PROBLEM FOR HER. #6 ARE you good at arithmetic, my dear?” asked Mr. Perkasie of his wife. “1 was accounted the very best arithmetician at school,” replied Mrs. Perkasie with a touch of pride in her voice. “Thave a problem for you.” State it.” * How can I buy ninety-five dollars’ worth of Christ- mas presents with fifteen dollars in cash and no credit?" WEIGHTIER REASONS. Tommy—" Say, it’s a good thing Christmas comes in the winter.” Joknny—"Cert. Or else w'ot good would de skates an’ sled dat a feller gits do him Tommy—" Aw, ye't supyficial. ‘T’ink how it'd be if it come in de summer w'en a feller ‘s yoin’ barefoot, an’ ain’t wearin’ no stockin’s.” I can- THE TREE OF LIFE. comicbooks.com