Judge — November 12, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TAKING A NEW TACK. URING a visit to the backwoods of Michigan,” said a well-known Presbyterian clergyman who tells a good story, “I had occasion to ride a long distance with a gruff-looking stage-driver, who turned vut to be as gruff in speech as he was in looks. 1 rode on the seat with him, and, as I try to be sociable, 1 opened the conversation by remarking, “<That's a very fine team you are driv- ing, captain.” “He shifted his quid of tobacco from one cheek to the other, thrust forward his chin, and replied, “Course it’s a fine team. Wouldn't drive nothin’ but a fine team. Guess 1 know what I'm sayin’ when I say it's a fine team. Guess I know a fine team when I see it.’ “Then he drew in his chin, shifted his quid again, and relapsed into silence. 1 was much surprised at his ungracious manncr, and although I felt somewhat re- sentful as well, I thought I would try again to get a pleasant answer from him; so after about five minutes I remarked pleasantly, “+Tt’s a fine day.” “ Again the driver shifted his quid from one cheek to the other, thrust forward his chin, and said in the same surly tone, “**Course it’s a fine day. Guess I know what I'm sayin’ when I say it’s a fine day. Guess I know a fine day when I see it.” “ After this second exhibition of gruffness he again shifted his quid, drew in his chin, and became silent. “This. sort of treatment nettled me—it made me angry. I was not accustomed to that sort of replies to my remarks, I decided to take him on another tack as soon as opportunity should offer. At length it came. After about a quarter of an hour's silent driving he went through the regular premon- itory symptoms of saying something. He shifted his quid and protraded his chin ad. said: SHADE OF BAD ACTOR—"* By my halidom, Barnstorm | there's one thing about this lower Te looks like rain, world I like—no matter how rank our acting is we never get a frost.” “ Now was my chance. In as gruff a tone as I could put ‘on, and shoving my chin as far forward as I could, I said, _ ing, disagreeable concentration of gruffness! It doesn’t look a bit like rain, I say! “*No, it doesn’t look like rain, you lazy, good-for-noth- Guess I'd know if it looked like rain. Guess I know what looks like rain when I see it. You can't tell me anything about rain. “ The driver opened his mouth in won- der at this, and then replied as meekly as could be, ‘ Wa-al, mebbe it don’t look like rain after all’; and the rest of the journey found him quite agreeable and communi- cative.” COLT, WILLIAM MENRY SIVITER, THE LATEST ARRIVAL, SHE came to me with her lips held down, But her roguish face was merry, While her forehead held no sign of frown, And her eyes were bappy— very. “* Now what do you think?” She smoothed her gown ; Her lips were red as cherry. “Now what do you s'pose come to town? Guess once and twice, Aunt Mary. “ It came in a bright red coach,” she said With a nod both wise and wary ; ** And it's snowy white.” She turned her head ea With a smile most kind yet chary. ™ I guess it’s a doll in bridal white,” Said I with a nod contrary. “No; guess again. I think you might”— Her smile would never vary. “* T guess it's a plamed and dazzling knight With his courtiers military.” ** No, no I” she cried ; “that isn’t right. T'l have to tell, Aunt Mary. “* My mouth is the bright red coach.» Look down,” AT THE LAST OF THE SEASON. su omy 2 gazed till my eyes grew stary. Actress Maniz (cxcitedly)—" They found a man under the bed in room sizteen last night.” eT bere a8 ew, white tooth areitey ta, toma, Actress Eriet—"‘And only think, Marie! we could have bad that room and got our names in the newspapers.” Nod stupid deste Ant Meee comicb ooks.com