Judge — November 12, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"LIZA JONES'S 'SPERIUNCE. A TRUE STORY. HE old darky servant, Aunt Chloe, was bringing in my carefully-warmed breakfast. I was late, as usual, and the others had finished the meal and decamped, leaving the lazy one to the mercy of the cook. * You went to church last night, didn't you, Aunt Chloe?” said I. “Yessum ; I trabeled clare out to Hall's hill last night to chu’ch. I done hear dat Br'er Snoo- come; he say, ‘ Sis’ Brown gittin’ hi'flutin’ sence she tuk service in de city, an’ she don’ segaciate no more wid kentry niggers ; she done forsook her own chu’ch foh de flesh-pots ob de Egyptins.” I trabeled out dere to show dat ornery nigger dat he make a mistake dis time, sho.” “ Well, I suppose you had a nice meeting. Did you shout and jump any, Aunt Chloe ?” “Dat I didn’, miss; dat I didn’, 1 is gittin’ too po'tly foh dat foolishness, anyhow ; but we had lots of ‘speriunces given last night, we did so. An’ dar wuz one w’ot tickled me right much. Miss Jinnie, I knows ‘twarn’t ‘zackly right, but I sutney hab to snigger ober one er those ‘speriunces.”” “Why, Aunt Chloe ?” “He! he! Yessum, ‘twuz this-a-way: you knows dat ‘Liza Jones w’ot lives out dere? Well, = a I don’ bilieve she got good sense nohow, but she sutney tole her ‘speriunce at dat meetin’. - “ She say, ‘ Brudders an’ sisterns, I wuz a-feelin’ powerful bad de udder night, en ‘pear like I want to pray, but ebery time I begin somepin’ tuk an’ whisper in my yere to flustercate me, an’ I jes’ couldn’ pray nohow. “* Well, den I say, “Ob, Lawd, w'ot dis yere w'ot keep on a-troublin’ “me so?” . “* An’ I tink de Lawd say, “It mus’ be de debbil.”” “*T say, “Oh, Lawd, it don’ look like de debbil.’ “* De Lawd say, “ Look at his feet ; look at his feet, ‘Liza! If he hab one cloven foot it de debbil sho’.” “*Den I look down at de t'ing’s feet an’ it begin to tu'n roun’ an’ roun’ an’ drag one foot behin’ so I couldn’ see, an’ de closer I look de faster it tu’n but bime-by I cotch sight of it an’ I see dat de cloven foot war dere, sho’ ‘nuff. Den de debbil gib a who-oo-p ! an’ go by me like er streak er lightnin’, an’ I didn’ see him no more. Den ‘pear like I went to heben, an’ I say, “++ Oh, Lawd, whar de milk an’ honey we gits up y'ere?” “*De Lawd he say, “Come y’ere, ‘Liza, chile; here's somepin’ w'ot niggers likes.” “*An’ I went dere, an’, brudders an’ sisterns, I see a big pot a-bilin’, an’, bress de Lawd, I look in de pot, an’ wot you tink I see? I see pig-meat an’ SHAMEFUL, THR rumPKiN—" See how bare the limbs are getting.” ‘THe conn —" Can't, I'm so horribly shocked.” A GOOD REASON. STRANGER—"* So this is a great foreign settlement here. were only two families.” “Yes, but they're Eytalians.” I beard there cabbage a-bilin'dar. Yessur, po’k an’ cabbage in dat pot, jes’ like w'ot I had fob dinner yestiddy. “*Lawsy me! I wuz powerful disapp'inted an’ cumfluctuated, I tells you! “*T say, “Ef dat's all de good tings we gits y’ere, good- bye to heben, Lawd! I kin git a-plenty of po’k an’ cabbage on yu'th.” An’ I kem back hum agin —dat I did, brudders an’ sisterns, bress de Lawd !'" Here Aunt Chloe ceased gesticulating and, throwing her apron over her head, indulged in silent merriment. “Why, Aunt Chloe! you don't mean to say such an ex- perience really was given in your meeting ?” “ Yessum, dat’s so ; dat’s de truf, Miss Jinnie, sho’s you bo'n. Dat gal sutney a crazy nigger, but she say dat, sho’. An’ my ole man he laff all de way hum from chu'ch, “He say, ‘Lor! Lor! ‘Liza fin’ only po’k an’ cabbage in heben, so she kem back to dis yrere worl’” “ Po'k an’ cabbage in heben ! He, he, he! Please ‘scuse me, Miss Jinnie! He, he, he!” And Aunt Chloe retired to the kitch- en, shaking her fat sides with laughter. SUSE. GRUNWELL, comicbooks.com \